new to the forum....recurring dream since childhood PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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new to the forum....recurring dream since childhood PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Post by bdorazil@comcast.net on Wed Sep 29, 2010 4:08 am

i have had recurring dreams of similar nature since childhood, i am now 28yrs old. in my dream, i am in my old childhood room @ my aunt's house( with whom raised me)......i'm listening to music on my computer and see her shadow in the hallway....i close the computer as i see her approaching and pretend to be asleep.....she leaves my room in a police cruiser(weird) and goes into her room and closes the door. just when i finally do dose off i hear her calling my name....her room is dark and so is the hallway but a dim light comes from the kitchen.....i say yes as i enter the kitchen, she stands by the stove and lunges a pot at me....(in my dreams during younger years i am always afraid of her coming into my room during the night and am also afraid of her when she tries to attack) i look @ her and say "F" you "B"( actual curse words,,,just trying to keep it G rated for the forum) She come towards me and i start fighting her, smashing her head into any and everything i can, but as i am doing so i'm saying sumthing just cant remember what, working my way to the door to exit. just as i get one of the two locks undone i hear her call my name again and realize what is in my hand is like a doll head or sumthing. I get the 2nd lock off and begin to run down the street( the same street i was raised on and which she still lives) but i'm moving in slow motion really straining to get away. i see different neighbors outside and i call their names not for help from her but because i notice that calling neighbors picks up my speed but only for a moment. i notice neighbors outside with several little dogs so i pretend i want to play with the puppy and ask if i can go inside with them. they say yes and i enter their home where more puppies are, but i also notice that she has followed me and is close to the neighbors home. she is outside talking to the neighbors and they are looking at me, so i take off again. this time she has the neighbors son to help try to catch me. i'm still running in slow motion reaching for anything to help pull me closer to the end of the street. i come to another neighbors' son but he is not willing to help catch me and tells the other son to just let me go. they both look back and see her coming behind me and notice her facial expression when i am nearly to the end of the street. i also notice it and see how close i am to the busy intersection; i heard myself say " jesus i swear i love you please let me make it God please" i stretch myself out as far as i can and i make it to the intersection. i run across now at normal speed trying to avoid getting hit by cars but she is still behind me. (the crazy part) i see 2 monster looking men, obviously in costume; one was dresses like frankenstien and the other well idk what he was dressed like, but i asked if i could get on frankenstien's back and he said yes....i got on his back and he told his monster friend bye and we walked off. i looked back and she was still trying to communicate with the other monster guy...then i woke up.
A LITTLE BACKGROUND INFO: MY AUNT WAS ABUSIVE DURING CHILDHOOD, I LOST MY MOTHER @ 11YRS OLD; THE RECURRING ASPECT OF THE DREAM IS ME BEING IN MY ROOM AND BEING SCARED OF HER COMING IN CATCHING ME ON THE PHONE OR MAKING ANY TYPE OF NOISE, (IT WAS ALWAYS FOR DIFFERENT REASONS), HER CALLING MY NAME, ME ANSWERING, HER ATTACKING ME,( INITIALLY I NEVER FOUGHT BACK IN MY DREAMS JUST WOKE UP CRYING, BUT AFTER I FOUGHT BACK THE 1ST TIME IN A DREAM, I FOUGHT BACK ANYTIME I HAD A DREAM OF THIS NATURE), ME TRYING TO RUN AWAY FROM HER HOUSE BUT MOVING IN SLOW MOTION( I CAN ONLY REMEMBER ACTUALLY MAKING IT TO THE INTERSECTION LIKE ONCE OR TWICE IN LIFE OF HAVING THIS TYPE OF DREAM)
***ALSO, THIS IS WEIRD THAT I AM HAVING THIS DREAM BECAUSE SHE AND I ARE ON GOOD TERMS NOW THAT I AM GROWN AND SHE DOES ANYTHING SHE CAN TO HELP ME OUT....SHE EVEN PAID OFF MY STUDENT LOANS FOR THIS MONTH***
I AM JUST STUMPED NOW AND IT IS 6AM MY TIME, THIS RECURRING DREAM ALWAYS HAS ME SHAKEN UP BUT I NEVER UNDERSTOOD WHY I HAD THEM ESPECIALLY NOW.....SUMONE PLEASE HELP!

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Re: new to the forum....recurring dream since childhood PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Post by redeeminglove on Wed Sep 29, 2010 10:12 am

i will be praying for you.

i believe God is showing you that even though you are on good terms, that her abuse is still haunting you. I believe God's will for you is to deal with your feelings towards her and the way she treated you. I believe that there are unresolved issues involving your aunt that may be affecting you to this day and God is trying to show you your heart condition.

Believe me, forgiveness is often a minute to minute, hour to hour process for me, but THANK THE LORD that the Holy Spirit is willing to carry the entire load of pain, hurt, fear for us if we allow Him to!

Remember, God has not given us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of POWER and LOVE and A SOUND MIND!!

God bless you!

Do you have a good church home in which you can talk about your feelings and get prayer for? I would encourage you to do so.

:)

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Re: new to the forum....recurring dream since childhood PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Post by Guest on Wed Sep 29, 2010 10:25 am

She was a form of a monster in your dream, The Frankenstien was Jesus (he rose from the dead) In other words, your monster is bigger than she. Jesus did bring you out and carry you away from it. Stay with Him, and you will be safe.... neighbor by neighbor, step by step....healing will come. Tell her how you felt growing up with her when you are strong enough and when you have already forgiven her.

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RE: new to the forum....recurring dream since childhood PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Post by bdorazil@comcast.net on Wed Sep 29, 2010 11:31 am

i can feel that...the only ?? I have is how do u know if you have really forgiven sumone? i mean i thought i had forgiven her which allows me to b on good terms with her....but i will never forget the things i went thru with her. i have tried to talk to her about things in the past but she acts as if i'm trippin and they never happened. i have forgiven her but will never forget the things she did....maybe the fact that she will never actually admit and acknowledge is whats holding me up.....idk....how do i move on? i'm almost 30 now and that was years and years ago, how do i let go??

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Re: new to the forum....recurring dream since childhood PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Post by Guest on Wed Sep 29, 2010 12:08 pm

She may deny it, but in your dream...you have witnesses (neighbors). There are bible verses that I could quote about forgiveness, but your dream has the clues in it. The "police car" she was in, is "authority". She no longer has authority over you, so in prayer, and out loud, bind and cast out into the abyss, this false authority. The Lord has authority over you and you are the beautiful person HE says you are. You are worthy to love, and He has declared you "good". He is bearing you up on His back and shoulders. Big strong shoulders is where we go to cry and our fathers back is where we are carried in playful good times when we are young children. Stay on His back for awhile, play, and enjoy being a child in His loving care. He will never hurt you. It is my honor to be able to speak to you.

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Re: new to the forum....recurring dream since childhood PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Post by redeeminglove on Wed Sep 29, 2010 12:26 pm

I know what it is like to harbor unforgiveness. It's hard. My actions and responses to my past have haunted me for years-despite me getting away from my abuse.
Things that the Lord has encouraged me to do is to call my abuser, and talk with her. Tell her I love her and listen to what she has to say. (the whole time, praying for patience). There is nothing in you that can help you truly forgive except the Holy Spirit. Talk to Him, tell Him your feelings about the situation and how you would like to forgive her, but need His help in truly forgiving.
whatever you're going through, remember, our God is stronger!


Last edited by EmilyM on Wed Sep 29, 2010 7:53 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : forgiveness edited to unforgiveness)

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RE: new to the forum.....PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Post by bdorazil@comcast.net on Wed Sep 29, 2010 1:51 pm

WOW....thanks to both of you...you have given me much insight into this dream....i know that i have a Prophetic calling on my life...and God speaks to me thru my dreams....only problem i have is trying to figure out what He really is telling me...although at times in the back of my mind i already know in a sense....sound crazy huh......i'm always helping other people figure out their dreams, but become stuck and frustrated when it comes to my own...but i kno that they are messages from God. As a little girl i prayed and asked God to speak to me in a way that i will know its Him....this is His way of communicating with me. Sometimes its warnings, sometimes its messages but my dreams always manifest in sum form or fashion.....i feel like Joseph @ times but i feel like because of the lesbian lifestyle i live, i'm not able to tap into the full power of the gift God has given me. idk if any of this is making sense 2 u guys................its aggravating when i cant figure out my dreams but can do so for others!
A few days ago i dreamt that i was walking out of my house going sumwhere with my "stud"(we are both lesbian females that dress n acts boyish) brother. She was waiting for me outside my gate. As i approached the gate a green car pulled up in front my house and i felt this feeling like OMG...kinda panic-y.....i left out the gate n turned to walk towards my stud brother but a force was pulling me lik a magnet to the green car....i was reaching out not to b subdued by the pull( a black black ugly little man was in the car...cudnt see his facial features just that he was extremly dark and ugly) i called out to her for help...she turn around grabbed me and broke the pull...then we walked off...in an instant my dream changed to total darkness and a voice was saying "how this feel?" @ the same moment i felt this pain in real life and in dream, but i didnt wake up...the voice then said "oh u tough huh, how about this", the pain got stronger but still i didnt wake up, then the voice said "how much more will u take?" @ that point the pain was so great that i rose up out my sleep almost like a zombie...no expressions no nothing, until a few seconds later then i started crying.....the car kept sticking in my mind, so i thought about it and decieded to get on mia's website n look up the color green....it represents good things, health, vitality, etc....but it was a ugly little black black man driving....then the whole thing with the voice....idk now i'm stuck, been since i had that dream...but i know its God trying to tell me sumthing. Just when i think i have it figured out i get confused all over again. I hope i'm not bothering u guys...i just need some guidance.

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Re: new to the forum....recurring dream since childhood PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Post by piano on Wed Sep 29, 2010 2:05 pm

Hi bdorazil,

I have not taken the test.

I love how when you reached out for help, your steps became quickened..what held you back released you.

Perhaps that is one of the things The Lord is impressing upon you, to reach out, not unwisely, but in wisdom to others that can give you safe harbor at difficult times.

This provides rest and recharging of your hope, as well as being able to persevere toward crossroads.

Discard what does not rest with you.

Piano

p.s. Frankenstein could mean frank=free stein= stone. Christ the rock sets us free.
Consider your dream with the green car.
A dark figure driving in something that usually represents something positive, may mean it could represent envy..jealousy..or greed instead. Kelley green objects (not grass or trees..living things) have represented envy in my dreams before.



Last edited by piano on Wed Sep 29, 2010 4:45 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : add)

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Re: new to the forum....recurring dream since childhood PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Post by Guest on Wed Sep 29, 2010 6:35 pm

Yes, I agree with "piano" about the green. It is very possible that your aunt (maternal abuser) had jealousy issues.

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Re: new to the forum....recurring dream since childhood PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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