Should I feel bad????

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Should I feel bad????

Post by lovelywomanofvirtue on Thu Sep 23, 2010 8:56 am

Hey all,

I have recently gotten out of a bad three year relationship with a guy...who was controlling. The relationship was a mentally and emotionally abusive relationship....everything was my fault, blah, blah, blah. Anyhoo, i have met this other guy who is super nice, does a lot for me, treats me like a queen! He is treating me the best I have ever been treated! Anyway, I decided that it was best for me to stop communicating with my ex because, it was just keeping me tied to him...and he would call or text me from time to time. I got to thinking that he was starting to treat me as his "side chick" and I didn't feel good every time he came and left. He called me on my ordination day, and i called him back but his phone kept going to voicemail....well he sends me a text the other day saying, I had to hear though the grapevine that u got u a man, i called to congratulate you on your special day and you didn't call or text me back. I see now why you haven't. Its good though miranda, u cool. no need for you to respond. At first i felt kinda bad...because i was like, he is really hurt, I guess he still had some hope that we'd get back together.....I dunno. But i didn't respond....should i be concerned about his feelings?

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Re: Should I feel bad????

Post by Cholette on Thu Sep 23, 2010 8:58 am

I am sending you a PM right now!


Do not fight FOR victory, but fight FROM THE PLACE of victory. Jesus has ALREADY won the battle!

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Re: Should I feel bad????

Post by lola21st on Thu Sep 23, 2010 10:43 am

Whatever Cholette said, I agree! lol!

On a serious note, don't fall for it, this is the famous "rubber cement" strategy - no matter how hard you try to get rid of them, they still manage to stick to you! When it comes to dealing with your ex, you have to begin to think with your head and not your heart, it will deceive you. He was no good to you and is no good for you - end of story.

The ties have to be severed completely - you have nothing together that should legitimately require you to communicate with him (e.g., a child or a business) so send him off and may the good Lord bless him and keep him (away from you)....staying in contact with him allows him to continue to play mind games albeit from a distance (just like he did in the text message - this is not going to change especially if he sees that you react to his contact - the feeling you got of being a "sidedish", the Holy Ghost is showing you that, believe Him!). The Lord has so much more in store for you, you're entering a new season filled with many opportunities to grow in the Lord, bless others, and be blessed - leave this manchild in the old season, don't allow him to tarnish your new season. Remember Lot's wife.... bandaid

I will PM you later (or you can copy/past Cholette's PM into a new one, sign my name to it and send it to yourself... laugh )...

Blessings my sister, I know it can be hard but you have to approach this situation with a very sober mind - you are worth it! huggins

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Re: Should I feel bad????

Post by Cholette on Thu Sep 23, 2010 12:29 pm

I know you know this already Lurdys, but we did sort of say the same thing...LOL!


Do not fight FOR victory, but fight FROM THE PLACE of victory. Jesus has ALREADY won the battle!

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Re: Should I feel bad????

Post by mjtorrence on Thu Sep 23, 2010 5:34 pm

I wouldn't feel bad but for a minute I thought you were talking about my ex rofl cause he was the same way, always blaming me never him, but moving on God is good he knows what's best for us and I wouldn't give it a thought abut the ex hes' trying to make you feel bad, I say no way enjoy your new man happy dance

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Re: Should I feel bad????

Post by dreamster on Fri Sep 24, 2010 2:50 am

i can feel tha control frm here,, ugh

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Re: Should I feel bad????

Post by lovelywomanofvirtue on Fri Sep 24, 2010 9:38 am

LOL! Ya'll made my day...thank you for the responses....@mjtorrence, that was hillarious....and @dreamster, it was that serious... @Cholette and Lola, I love ya'll! LOL.

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Re: Should I feel bad????

Post by dreamster on Fri Sep 24, 2010 12:14 pm

D

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Re: Should I feel bad????

Post by lola21st on Fri Sep 24, 2010 4:37 pm

love ya back, mighty woman of God!! Never forget who you are and Whose you are...don't let anyone make you settle for less than He has for you! huggins

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Re: Should I feel bad????

Post by Delightful soul on Fri Sep 24, 2010 5:40 pm

wow i thought you were talking about my ex too!

He would text me from time to time and when I would text him, no reply. It seemed he wanted me on his terms and when we broke up and i assertively told him what i thought of him, he said i was acting the victim. He would never have thought to apologise and this was how the relationship was. After it ended he wanted to 'be friends' and so we tried to be friends for 1 and a half years. Didn't work. He would be so manipulative and only wanted to see me when he was at a loose end. He was such an emotional abusive person that I thought it was my fault whenever anything went wrong.
It wasn't until we broke up that my life started to feel 'normal' again and i have so many friends who would never treat me the way he did and so i began to realise that it was a toxic and very controlling relationship.
Thanks for sharing here as reading it made me realise that I was not the only one.

Blessings to you sister and enjoy your new 'healthy' relationship!!! thumbs

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Re: Should I feel bad????

Post by lovelywomanofvirtue on Sun Sep 26, 2010 1:30 pm

LOL...sounds so much like me little one. How about now, he's in a relationship, lol...funny huh...makes me wanna enjoy my life even more now...

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Re: Should I feel bad????

Post by Delightful soul on Sun Sep 26, 2010 8:31 pm

souls ties are very hard to break, but praise God for his healing happy dance

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Re: Should I feel bad????

Post by lovelywomanofvirtue on Fri Oct 01, 2010 9:08 am

AMEN!

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Re: Should I feel bad????

Post by Dove-Solutions on Sat Oct 02, 2010 1:15 pm

They call them ex's for a reason. Never look back only look to the future with the Lord by your side, giving you council in all you do. Don't move to fast with the new guy. Take your time and be sure. I know you will though. God bless! :)

love in Jesus,

Connie


~Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Himand He will direct your path.~ Proverbs 3:5-6

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Re: Should I feel bad????

Post by Delightful soul on Sun Oct 03, 2010 5:57 am

Amen Connie, I also think as we look back, we can learn from our mistakes so we do not make the same ones for the future.

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Re: Should I feel bad????

Post by lovelywomanofvirtue on Wed Oct 06, 2010 9:54 am

Thanks Connie...and I am taking my time with this guy...not going to make the same mistakes as I did in the past....the ex now has a new girlfriend...quick huh? I don't think so....but what does it matter?

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Re: Should I feel bad????

Post by mjtorrence on Wed Oct 06, 2010 11:13 am

Amen looking back to me is a way of saying that I miss the old things, that is why I don't look back I keep in mind the scripture "I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus." Philip 3:14 woo hoo

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Re: Should I feel bad????

Post by Dove-Solutions on Wed Oct 06, 2010 7:19 pm

I hear that. I have been there. Hang in and let Jesus be your husband, after all he is just that.

Love in Jesus,

Connie


~Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Himand He will direct your path.~ Proverbs 3:5-6

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