I had a bad dream while we were on vacation. He was in uniform and we were at the military theater on post. We were there for a briefing. I was sitting next to him and some other woman/girl came up laughing and sat on his lap and he didn't mind at all!! I jumped up furious and told her to get out of my man's lap and then proceeded to yell at him for holding her in his lap and not making her get out. I was so jealous.
He seemed to like it and they all were just laughing and having a good time in front of me, for a minute.

My problem is irl I asked him how he felt about other women sitting in a married man's lap... He doesn't see a problem with it, seemingly. He really wouldn't answer me except with an I don't know type answer. I was really hurt. I was like "so you don't care if some woman comes up and sits on a married man's lap in front of his wife"? I don't remember his reply but I asked him if it depends on the situation/intent, he was basically affirmative.
He asked me what it means to a woman to do that and I said I don't know either. I just don't like it if a woman would go and sit on another woman's husband's lap.
I did tell him my dream and he said "you know there is no woman in my squad (or unit, shop, not sure which he said) don't you?" I told him that I didn't.

I just can't get the idea out of my head that he possibly wouldn't care if some woman sat on his lap!
I just remember a time when in all my dreams he would defend my honor against all women's advances to him and would blow them off and I would beat the living daylight out of them.
Irl early in our marriage he flashed his wedding ring to one woman who wouldn't quit giving him the come hither stare.

Since he did flash his wedding ring to another woman, I think he wouldn't allow another woman to sit in his lap. I am not sure but he probably wasn't in the mood to talk. I know you would have gotten a lengthy response if you had asked if it was ok if you were to sit in another man's lap!

i wasa jus about 2 type the same thing,,im sure he;ed take a very dim view of u doin that,, ,,hmm im wonderin if he was keen 4 otha woman 2 come ova but it wasnt convieniant,,

Gissy, I'm positive I would have gotten a big response if it was in reference to me!
The ring flash was 12 years ago...

D, what do you mean it wasn't convenient? Like, he didn't give me much of a response because he Wants other women to sit on his lap other than me?

i jus wondered that he may hav wanted the woman 2 come ova who was stareing at him but showed he was married,,i guess its hard becos ur drm is amplifying ur fears,,from wat has happened irl,,his replys 2 u dont give u confidence,,and that is unsettleing 4 u ,, ugh,,plus not hearing from him jus compiles ur anxiety,,

Yeah, it is unsettling and you are right it does compile my anxiety.

He didn't want her to go to him... I wasn't actually there, he told me on the phone.

I knew he wouldn't cheat on me.

ok,