appeasing my husband, trying to get him to like me as a friend too, doesn't seem to work

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appeasing my husband, trying to get him to like me as a friend too, doesn't seem to work

Post by hind'sfeet on Thu Jul 22, 2010 6:03 pm

I just had a bad dream about my husband. I picked him up at the airport today and we were asleep together when I had the dream

I was feeling really bad because he basically told me I wasn't his friend but he loves me because I didn't like anything he likes and his friend do. I was really hurt and I saw him talking friend stuff with old friends (represented old friends from before we were married) they were mostly other women that were grunge/punk and I was hurt. He was vacuuming with our irl purple dyson vacuum that's several years old now and then I saw that he had put this brand new super elaborate collection tank with cool hosing attached to it (not the extension hose that you used to vacuum along the walls, they looked more like a hamster run attached to the tank but it was, I guess a type of super filtration system that would not irl be a good idea. I asked him if he had just put it on the vacuum and I saw the old tank nearby, he answered in his irl annoyed voice, affirmative. I wanted to show him that I am his friend too and wanted to appease him, make him happy with me, so I asked him in a timid way if I could vacuum too. He gave me the vacuum extension hose that you vacuum corners with. I started using it and then saw a pile of old poop, looked like a big dog poop pile but it was dry, like dehydrated, but not white like it is when old. I had a hard time vacuuming it because they were big poops and then there was some old pants in there and I started vacuuming those up too and they kind of got stuck. My husband wasn't enjoying that I was vacuuming up the poop and old pants because it was putting dust into the air when it was disturbed. I woke up as I was trying to get the pants to go down.
I felt like my efforts weren't working and I couldn't do it right and it was back firing.

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Re: appeasing my husband, trying to get him to like me as a friend too, doesn't seem to work

Post by Angelwings on Fri Jul 23, 2010 6:11 am

ugh!! I wish I could interpret this dream for you.

Do any of the feelings you had in your dream resemble feelings you have in real life? Are you afraid that he see's you differently as a wife now that your saved and living for Jesus?

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Re: appeasing my husband, trying to get him to like me as a friend too, doesn't seem to work

Post by traveller on Fri Jul 23, 2010 6:32 am

I had a hard time vacuuming it because they were big poops and then there was some old pants in there and I started vacuuming those up too and they kind of got stuck. My husband wasn't enjoying that I was vacuuming up the poop and old pants because it was putting dust into the air when it was disturbed. I woke up as I was trying to get the pants to go down.
I felt like my efforts weren't working and I couldn't do it right and it was back firing.
You know the expressing 'raising some dust'.. meaning causing commotion. Could the fact of you vacuum-cleaning old waste, (cleansing process of whatever that represents for you..) be causing some commotion between you and hubs? Especially when a bigger item, which is too big for the type of corner cleaner u r using:)??
You mention your efforts weren't working and backfiring? Do u mean the cleaning efforts or something else?

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Re: appeasing my husband, trying to get him to like me as a friend too, doesn't seem to work

Post by Angelwings on Fri Jul 23, 2010 6:37 am

You know the expressing 'raising some dust'.. meaning causing commotion. Could the fact of you vacuum-cleaning old waste, (cleansing process of whatever that represents for you..) be causing some commotion between you and hubs?

That was my same thought, but because I'm not an interpreter I second guessed it and was afraid to throw it out there. But thats exactly what I saw.

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Re: appeasing my husband, trying to get him to like me as a friend too, doesn't seem to work

Post by hind'sfeet on Fri Jul 23, 2010 7:04 am

That is a saying that I think I've heard before but not very often that I know what it means.

I actually don't quite understand what you are saying, it's a little vague.
Can you guys give me a story example fiction or non, that would help me to picture what you mean.

I would never had understood my dream like you two!

Yeah, I have had those feelings in the past because he used to tell me a few years into our marriage that we don't have anything in common because I don't like what he likes (as in gaming...). I hate to say that he used to say that he wanted a divorce when we would get into irate arguments, and then also use that excuse. We've been married 12 years now.
I told him that I had a bad dream about him after he got up a few hours after me, and I asked him if he feels that way. He said basically 'absolutely not' and then he cuddled me.
Me and my son went to the airport to pick him up yesterday and he gave me the biggest bear hugs and kissed me!! I was enraptured!! I missed him so much and it is all mutual!! I know that is a prayer that God answered from years ago, that I would love him and he would love me like I see the lovers taking walks, hugging, holding hands.

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Re: appeasing my husband, trying to get him to like me as a friend too, doesn't seem to work

Post by traveller on Fri Jul 23, 2010 5:49 pm

Hi ,
I'll try to explain the expression first: u know when there's dust on the floor, as long as u doesn't touch it, it stays there and u don't notice it in the air u breathe. However, as soon as u start moving it around, with a duster or something, the dust goes into the air and makes it feel really stuffy because it now isn't in the same old place. So, when people do something that changes a situation that has been a certain way for a while,(regardless if it's a good or less good change) it isn't always received well by the people around, it causes some commotion, hence the expression 'raising the dust, meaning 'causing commotion'.
Now, the reason i made this comparison in regards to your dream is because your husband made a comment about the dust being put in the air when u vacuum cleaned the poo, he doesn't seem to appreciate the effort of you actually getting rid of old waste, but he sees it as a disturbance(commotion). It appears that he'd have rather u left the poo as that wouldn't have raised the dust.. The poo, to me, represents old (personal) waste (some kind of cleansing that u and maybe even him?have gone through). Apart from the fact that cleansing usually is a good thing, your husband doesn't seem to appreciate u bringing it up as it raises the dust.. but this can be a result of u using the wrong type of vacuum cleaner in the dream(maybe going about it the wrong way?).
Does this make sense? Please remember these are my thoughts! Pray over it and see what fits, otherwise toss:)

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Re: appeasing my husband, trying to get him to like me as a friend too, doesn't seem to work

Post by Nyagali on Sat Jul 24, 2010 6:12 am

Traveller, I really liked what you shared.
Be patient hind's feet, we can't change anyone or save anyone...that is God's business!! Hear Jesus, keep your focus on Him and he will work it out. Enjoy your time together and stop cleaning up! Get out and have fun, enjoy the nature God created.

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Re: appeasing my husband, trying to get him to like me as a friend too, doesn't seem to work

Post by hind'sfeet on Sat Jul 24, 2010 7:00 am

Ya'll are right. It makes complete sense. I'll have to ask God what it is that I'm trying to clean up because that does sound like something I would do, esp. the wrong way.

Thanks you guys

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Re: appeasing my husband, trying to get him to like me as a friend too, doesn't seem to work

Post by Mia Sherwood on Sat Jul 24, 2010 5:35 pm

Hind's feet,

I didn't read all the other replies so I apologize if it's been covered.

Do you think vacuuming with his turbo vacuum cleaner represents trying to do some things with him that he likes? Like games, or whatever? And because you're forcing yourself to do it and you don't really like it, your husband doesn't really get into it and it just doesn't feel right?

Love,
mia


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Re: appeasing my husband, trying to get him to like me as a friend too, doesn't seem to work

Post by hind'sfeet on Sat Jul 24, 2010 8:35 pm

Thank you Mia!
He's only been able to get me to game once and all his other tries have been futile. Other than watching movies and drinking beer, that's the only activity that he does outside of work, well, other than that he likes to pester me (poke at me, and tickle me, and our son too, also pin us down and pester us). He's like a big pesky child. Well, I don't particularly like to be tickled, poked at, or held down while he does both

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Re: appeasing my husband, trying to get him to like me as a friend too, doesn't seem to work

Post by Mia Sherwood on Sun Jul 25, 2010 7:08 am

lol Let me know if this happens in the future. I'm interested.


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Re: appeasing my husband, trying to get him to like me as a friend too, doesn't seem to work

Post by hind'sfeet on Sun Jul 25, 2010 10:53 am

I sure will Mia!!

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Re: appeasing my husband, trying to get him to like me as a friend too, doesn't seem to work

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