Useless Education

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Useless Education

Post by HeavenlyBlack on Fri Apr 30, 2010 7:59 am

Hey guys, I haven't been here for a while, but I'm back after praying for a good forum for me to talk about these things and then looking at the screen on Google and immediately seeing this site's URL. I don't remember why I drifted off anyways.

So anyways, I have some questions to ask about a recurring dream theme I have. I'm usually in the high school I was in through grades nine and ten, going through a fifth year of classes. Sometimes I'm searching for someone I used to be in love with (sorta), sometimes I'm there to rack up extra credit for college or to hang out with friends (and a lot of the time these themes are mixed and matched.) But what really stands out is the fact that I realize in the dream that what I'm doing is pointless because "I graduated and got my diploma last year." And then I usually up and leave; last time I went outside in my boxers clutching my gray trenchcoat shut to keep other people from seeing while almost missing the bus.

So what the heck does all that mean? Why do I keep on dreaming about taking an extra year of unnecessary schooling when I already have a diploma?

EDIT: I should probably mention that I'm about 21, haven't gone to college, and barely graduated from high school (almost dropped out.)


Last edited by HeavenlyBlack on Sat May 01, 2010 2:38 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Re: Useless Education

Post by mstjcutler on Fri Apr 30, 2010 9:01 am

Hello heavenlyblack, I use to have dreams all the time of me walking around my highschool even sitting in class. Wondering why when i already had my ged. But one day i had a dream that i was signing up for college. I believe that i kept going through something in real life over and over that i already knew the answer to that would have helped me to move on but i kept failing the test. Even having the answer. The crazy thing for me was my mother kept telling me to go back to highschool and i would do it knowing i shouldn't. That was a key for me to know to stop letting ppls opinions rule my life.
So i would say pay attention to your life and watch the mistakes you make. And pay close attention the way God speaks to you. Be obedient to God. ur young get a good education!! And stay around positive people that have Godly wisdom.

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Re: Useless Education

Post by HeavenlyBlack on Sat May 01, 2010 3:45 pm

By changing the name of this post I just discovered the meaning of my dream!

(Short[er] Version)
If I had gone to college, it would have been a community college. I noticed that in these dreams the primary emphasis is always upon the commons area, which would symbolize the "community" aspect. I'm there to rack up extra credit for college, as in a university. Also, a big motivation for me to go would have been meeting people ("to hang out with friends.")
And I would have been looking for a spouse, wherein the last dream I had showed me in the commons with someone who I knew was the wrong girl for me. Then I realized that I already had graduated last year and that my being there was useless. And I left... meaning that I've already completed all the education I needed to complete. College is optional and, for *me*, superfluous.


(Longer Version)
So the dreams are always set in the school I attended for grades nine and ten, and a few months of grade eleven. Nine is the number of judgment, ten of new beginnings, which may respectively symbolize what will come upon the people who hurt me there, and then my new life now. Eleven is a number of incompleteness, which is interesting because my schooling there in grade eleven was cut short, about two months in to the year (witness.) The new principal witnessed what was happening to me and, although she had to follow policy, felt I was getting shafted. Which could point to how, where I'm at in my new life (now) my learning is incomplete in one way, shape, or form and that someone will witness and acknowledge that I'm getting shafted these days as well (which is interesting because I finally started attending church and mid-sermon the pastor walked up to me and directed a portion of the talk at me about needing encouragement and support.) In the dream, I'm in my fifth year (or grade thirteen) and my mind only remembers grades nine, ten, and eleven, blended together and in a dark dream-and-carnival tinted nostalgic tone. Which is what it is/was like in real life. I'm only partially aware of the fact that I'm in a fifth year of high school in the first 3/4 of the dream, while I'm attending classes. The classes are framed in the dream as just appendages of the building as side wings, or as a large tower with the feel of a construction site/gray stone stairwell. Sometimes in the dreams the best students get the highest level, which is secret and is where the real staff's offices are located. Also, the main focus of the school is almost always the commons area, which is packed with students socializing and food court-style stands. I think this means that in all reality high school is really about the social aspects and not truly education, and that better students get (biased) preferential treatment by the staff, special "accommodations" (i.e. more leeway, more blind eyes turned.) The students tend to be loud and excited as heck in the commons, but repressed and sometimes panicked and cruel in the hallways and classrooms. I think that speaks to the true nature of school kids, they want to hang out, get along and have fun - not stress out with heavy structure (hence the industrial feel of the tower.) I think one of my teachers once called it "conveyor belt schooling", IRL. So I'm often looking for someone I love(d), and I sense her presence even when she's not in view. She's sensed like a lost part of me, a enigma and potential supporter filled with ambivalence. I often have difficulty finding her and, in the last dream, it turned into a video game/cartoon world while I searched for her. A world of make-believe and fantasy, positive fantasy, but the end turned dark. Which closely reflects my real life feelings, as I often picture us reconciled happily but lose hope and begin to fear and get angry. So I was back in the commons, sitting with friends from that school, and a girl nearby asked to sit with us. She was apparently attracted to me, but I wasn't back. She wasn't my type and I still wanted to find the other girl. The girl who wanted me was a bit more edgy, sexy, and more of the type of person I'd find where I live. She gave off a vibe of being a bit tough, and not a virgin. I wasn't attracted, but I played along to be nice and give her a chance. We were at a round table, eating a feast of healthy foods, picking at them bit by bit. (I recently began eating healthily IRL.) We were talking but I have no recollection of what about. The commons, I should mention, had a rainy, earthy, and industrial-fusion feel to it, in even balance but the trees stood out most. It was around here I realized that my fifth year there, or grade thirteen, was completely pointless because I had already graduated from another high school last year and had a diploma so it was sure. Soon the bell rang, and I could tell it was the last day before summer break. Everyone got up and started to leave in crowds. I spotted the girl I really wanted finally, walking out by herself. Kinda somber/angry/apathetic looking. She had in her right hand a copy of the C.S. Lewis books all bound into one, the gold one they sell IRL. Except hers was strawberry ice cream pink. She looked like she was still in the process of reading it. Combined with her appearance, it was probably The Problem of Pain. The cover was held in such a way that it was facing me, she walked by me a few yards away. I let her go home on her own and didn't bother her, and didn't feel bad about it either even though I was under the impression that it could be the last time I see her. For some reason I may have thought that there was another chance. I ran out, almost missed the bus, and was in red-hearted valentines boxers only, but I was trying to cover up with my open gray trench coat. Trying to cover up my marriage-inclined sexual and romantic feelings by appearing neutral, but failing(?) The trench reminded me of curtains and towels too. Hotel room? Meh.

So fifth year = year of grace. Thirteenth grade doesn't actually exist, so I'm rebelling against something that actually isn't real. As in, college is not a requirement, the school setting shows it's not right for me, and that I won't find the love or friendship I'm looking for there.

Though I'm feeling called to start a band oddly enough.


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Re: Useless Education

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