I need clarification on what I am to do. I want to move out of a ministry in the church. I do not feel connected anymore. I feel that my time is up. I asked my pastor a few months ago to allow me to go-he said no they need me. However-I am rejected-overlooked-as well as others. I keep hearing "Fruitless". I am bearing no fruit in this ministry. I am sick to my stomach until I need to remove myself. I want to throw up everytime I come into the ministry. Not the church-the ministry in the church. I want to leave because of the constant outward sin, manipulation, controlling, performing spirits-by LEADERS....I am praying...but I need some clarity.

The first thing I took notice of is your username..."iamfree42"...YES YOU ARE!!! You are free from the opinion of others, you are free to operate and do whatever you desire or NOT desire in the house of God and no man (including your pastor) should dictate to you what you should do. If you have that type of reaction to working in that ministry, my advice is to step back. God has ALWAYS given us the freedom to choose...which means He doesn't force us to do ANYTHING for Him. The only person you need to answer to is God...not man.

I stepped down from both of the ministries I was in. I was the worship leader and also the leader over the unmarried ministry. I stepped down because of the "new" direction the church was going in which turned to be legalistic as well as more denomonational than the "non denomonational" church we claimed to be. There was no delay in my stepping down because I knew within my heart that God was calling me away from this ministry (the church). I know you said that you have nothing against the church itself, but the same is true for you...YOU ARE FREE!!! Do what is best FOR YOU and how YOU feel God is leading you. I would venture to say that if you are becoming physically sick then you should quit immediately.

PEACE and Blessings to you my friend!!

If you feel you are not growing and you feel negatively toward work going on there (not be fruitful) then you should definitely ask God, "God what should I do?" My family has stepped down countless times from assemblies that seemed to not be growing but they didn't leave immediately, they waited. I just think that you should take into account what your pastor has said (about needing you) even if it feels uncomfortable right now. You know the scripture about "obeying your leaders" and respecting those who have rule over you (Hebrews 13:7) I dont think that your pastor is trying to control you but he may see what you see as well (the chaos and manipulation,etc) and may see your potential and heart, and desire for you to help make a positive change with him (have you thought about it that way? He could feel frustrated too-but hasn't voiced it personally) Also, I always feel like if I can't give 100% or put my whole heart (1 Chronicles 28:9; 1 Chronicles 29:5; John 7:17) into what I'm doing or have joy while doing it, then its not worth doing and it may not be giving glory to God and be in his will. Finally, sometimes when it concerns being in God's will, it may not always "feel right" or be something that we want to do always--but we have to be willing and obedient inorder to eat the good of the land (Isaiah 1:19). Think about Jesus as he was on his way to the cross. Did he want to die? NO. Infact he said, "God, I know you can do ANYTHING, so if it be your will, PLEASE take this cup from me" (meaning, God, if there's a way for me to get out of this, please show me because I REALLY don't want to do this!) He was literally begging to get out of the situation, but he humbled himself under God and said, "not MY will but your will FATHER" (Mark 14:36). This must be our attitude as well (easier said than done though!) So that goes to show you that even JESUS was relunctant at times but he stayed focused on the bigger picture (dying for our sins so that we could be saved)! Even though you may be frustrated and ready to leave because you feel ignored and unproductive currently, I wonder if God is wanting you to look at the bigger picture here? Are you willing to "stay a little longer" if God wants you too, so HIS will can be done(Its about HIM anyway)--even if the pressure gets more rough? Even though you may not feel so, you may be the greatest blessing to that assembly! He does know your heart and he won't force you to do someting you don't want to do, but I thought I'd just give you something to think on and pray about. Whatever you do, you should have "peace about it".
God bless you
desiree

Okay-here is the deal. I hear everything you are saying and I agree with you. But this is the root of this. The worship leader and the minister of music have had an adulterous affair for several years. Most of us know about it including our pastor. She has allowed them to continue to lead. Many of us have suffered spiritual abuse and etc...controling, manipulation from the hand of the leaders mainly----And it is still going on- Out of 5 years-each other member has led one song-some none at all-it is only 6 of us. I know that it is about God. NOt about us. Everytime I express my feelings-even to you-I feel as though I am wrong. Tell me, Am I murmurring and complaining?

I sent you a private message Iamfree42 in your mailbox here. Check it please!!

I sent you a private message also. Please check your mailbox. God bless.

Connie

WHOA! Okay...you really need to pray then! No you're not murmuring or complaining--just gave you something to consider! you're definitely not in the wrong for not wanting to tolerate sin! I hate when it seems like you're in a pickle! I WILL PRAY! thanks for sharing