Apology letter/note to my mother...

So, at the meeting with the pastors I told them why God wants me to do (apologize to my mom) and they were in agreement. They confirmed that I don't need to do it voice to ear, that it could be written. My mother is not someone you can apologize to easily and I don't need any interruptions. I'm wondering now if an attitude of 'not caring' if you are forgiven by the person is bad? I feel like there is something to this attitude, like I'm protecting myself from being rejected, and that it's more of a bad attitude than a good one. I can't help the feeling that I don't give a flying cat if she forgives me or not. My deadline that we set to send the letter was today but I'm just finishing it and it's like 2 am. I don't mind that I can send it tomorrow, but I'm troubled about this attitude that seems to have been brought to my attention by being troubled by it in the first place. I'm not asking her to forgive me in the letter anyway, as I don't want her calling me about it. It's just an I'm sorry letter without any butts (that's sort of a joke). It's hard enough admitting my mistakes to her because of how she is. Basically I just listed words that describe what I've done, nothing specific, that would take a life time.

ugh,,thats courage unda fire,, i kno exactly how u feel,, mi thorts r wiv u, D

That letter isn't about your mother...it's about you. You are right, it doesn't matter if she accept your letter or not...you are getting it off of YOUR heart so YOU can move on. The more you focus on what her response would be, the more you will be in bondage in your heart. She is who she is and it has NOTHING to do with you. Release her with the sending of the letter and move forward with your life.

Like Dreamster said, it takes COURAGE to do what you are doing. Go girl...the truth will MAKE you free.

Blessings and PEACE!!!!

My son is almost out the door to put it in the post box. I am getting all kinds of doubts about my letter, like it was too short, should have put more, it's meaningless... It was a short letter, I am going to put it here and ya'll can tell me what you think:

"Dear mom

God has put it on my heart to write an apology to you.

I am sorry for all the pain, worry, and heartache I've caused you.
I'm sorry for having been rebelious, mean, selfish, uncaring, unsympathetic, dishonest, argumentative, vengeful, unforgiving, unloving, resentful, unremorseful, entitled, disobedient, unmerciful, malicious, gossip, hateful, stubborn, and judgmental.

I just want to say that I am sorry.

Andrea

Isaiah 61"

Thank you guys for the awesome encouragement!!! Thank you Father for what you are doing!!!

Oh yes girl!!!! That's all that needs to be said. Now ask God to bring the peace that you need so you can move on and not care whether your mom responds or not...k?

Thank you Cholette

Hinds feet,

The most important part here is that you say what needs to be said so you can forgive either her or yourself or both, because the Lord wants you to put it to rest so you can trust him and you can be healed of the pain. Cholette is right it does not matter what she does but it does matter what we do. So just follow the Lords promptings and do it his way and all will be well with you and the Lord. I know that it's hard. You can do it though. :)

Love in Jesus,


Connie

I agree with all that's been said. Congratulations because what you did took courage and humility and you will be blessed for your obedience!

Sounds absolutely the right length and words.

You guys have been SUCH and encouragement

I could def. feel the humility when writing it.
I do get the sense that God is helping me to get it behind me. I want to move forward into the light and not backward into the darkness.

This is something I never thought would happen, esp. so soon... Now I know it's happening and God says the time is now to get it done with and to work. Todays sermon at church was God telling people to not pay attention to what He's doing in other's lives, to work on what He is doing/having you do in your own life, to work, get busy and work.

All week, I've been having a dry spell, not hearing God really talking to me. I think I was focusing too much on my imperfections and sins again. Trying to have balance. After writing that letter triggered me into very bad moods, grouching at my son like I'm pmsing again. Forgetting to keep perspectives and have balance. I don't think any of us will be balanced until we are made perfect. Right now it's like being on one of those balance tables and made more difficult with a marble. Trying to keep the marble from rolling off the balance table.

ok, I'm done

Every time you feel that way HF just ask the Lord to bring his peace over you.

Love in Jesus,

By the way I am very proud of you and so is the Father! :)

Thank you Father and Connie

you did great!

Thank you blueSkies!