Boyfriend & Stranger in Bed

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Boyfriend & Stranger in Bed

Post by Blinky on Mon Nov 09, 2009 12:59 pm

The other night I prayed that God would guide me concerning my relationship with a christian man whom I have been dating 9 months. That night my dream started with my boyfriend and I getting in to bed together and a another man with dark hair climbed into bed on the other side of my boyfriend at the same time as my boyfriend. The man with dark hair had his face turned away from us. My boyfriend began caressing me in preparation for having sex (I use that term because I had no feelings of love or really any emotion, just observance), at the point where he would have actually penetrated, I pushed him away and got out of bed, but I did not push away roughly, or hastily, just matter of factly. I looked back and saw my boyfriend in the bed and the other man was still there as well, still on the other side of my boyfriend, his face still turned away. My boyfriend wasn't reacting to the fact that I pushed him away or the fact that I left the bed, he wasn't even looking at me when I looked back. I had feelings of distrust and felt very detached.

What is God trying to show me in this dream.

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Re: Boyfriend & Stranger in Bed

Post by jjp708 on Mon Nov 09, 2009 2:09 pm

Maybe there's a side of your bf that you need to pay attention to has not been so obvious to you up til this point.

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Re: Boyfriend & Stranger in Bed

Post by HisLightbeam on Mon Nov 09, 2009 2:54 pm

Are you both Christians, and is sleeping together something that you do in real life? If so, other people are always going to be in bed with you. If you will accept my counsel, and I am only going to reiteraterate with the Word warns against, I would be happy to tell you my thoughts on the matter. Wherever there is a relationship between a man and a woman that has illicit activity, then enemy has free reign to come in, because this is his territory. "Sin crouching at the door, waiting to be your master." Also, sex is a reward meant for the marriage bed. I have heard people say that even after they got married, if they had sex with their spouses before marriage, there were trust issues, and jealousy. Still, the strongest bond should come not from the physical level of intimacy, but spiritual intimacy. We can build emotional intimacy off of things that someone does which pleases us, but spiritual intimacy is what will build a lasting relationship.

Quite possibly, as you are drawing closer to God, your spirit is disassociating you from your taste for this particular activity. After all, the spirit and the flesh are a constant war with each other, and our choices come from "either" "or", and not a combination of both. Eventually one must be predominate over the other. It depends on with one you are willing to nurture for growth.

So, since you were praying about this man to the Lord, perhaps your dream is self-explanatory. The Lord never leaves us in the dark about His perfect will, especially when it involves our desire to please Him-when it is clear we want to hear what He has to say about a subject.

Maybe this is the Lord telling you that this relationship is not serious to the man. For my own personal theory, a man of God is a leader in the home, if not in the community, and should be able to steer anyone who follows him in the right direction. He should want to be honourable towards you and treat you as a sister, or if he is dating you with the eventual intent to marry you, he should have a desire to keep your reputation clean before God and man.

Please pray about my input, and welcome to the forum.


Last edited by HisLightbeam on Mon Nov 09, 2009 2:55 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : spelling)

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Re: Boyfriend & Stranger in Bed

Post by jjp708 on Mon Nov 09, 2009 3:05 pm

WOW, HLB, your words are exactly what I wanted to say but didn't know how without being offensive. I guess there's a lesson here for me. Being a Christian has no room for timidity, huh?

Thanks..

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Re: Boyfriend & Stranger in Bed

Post by HisLightbeam on Mon Nov 09, 2009 3:37 pm

LOL, you still somethin' else, JJP! Naw, time out for being shy now. We have to just tell the truth in love. When I look at what is ahppening in the world and I cross-reference this with the Word of God, I say "Uh oh". Well, maybe 2 decades from now, we will all be sitting in the New Jerusalem. One thing is for sure, I want to exercise all my gifts, say all that I am supposed to say, pull anybody that I can from the fire, and make sure that I walk until the end is come. Whatever happens, let me not miss my spot because I got caught up in the material things, which are really immaterial, when it is viewed in a side by side comparison to eternal richss.

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Re: Boyfriend & Stranger in Bed

Post by HisLightbeam on Mon Nov 09, 2009 3:38 pm

Besides, I figure that the only way I can offend someone if I am telling the truth in love, is if they are allowing themselves to fall on the rock, or the rock is falling on them, meaning that the truth will make your conscience tender, if there is anything to be tender about.

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Re: Boyfriend & Stranger in Bed

Post by lola21st on Mon Nov 09, 2009 4:31 pm

Amen, HLB! (clap)

Blinky, does any of this align with what's in your spirit regarding this dream?

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Re: Boyfriend & Stranger in Bed

Post by jjp708 on Mon Nov 09, 2009 7:24 pm

Yes, AMEN HLB. Plus I love the rock anology, I've been in both places before.....LOL.

Be blessed!

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Re: Boyfriend & Stranger in Bed

Post by Blinky on Mon Nov 09, 2009 10:00 pm

Hi and thank you everyone for your responses and the welcome. Yes, we are both Christians. Yes we have had a few slips
and were intimate, I have repented and God has been faithful to renew my strength to stand firm, and I have prayed that any spiritual bonds were broken. The evening before the dream, we had a confrontation that I instigated based on his inappropriate reactions toward me,
laughing at me and then stating it was about how cute I looked ?? Whenever someone else complimented me, he had to say a smart remark to negate the compliment or cut me down. Getting frustrated with me on a daily basis where he would become stern or say something condescendingly. Yet he always had an excuse and this particular evening, stated that I needed to lighten up. I told him that I couldn't
understand why he would want me for a girlfriend if I was that frustrating for him. That night I told him that we should sleep on it and then I had the dream.

Here's what I think I'm getting from the dream. This man is only with me for hope of the convenience of sex and with or without it, he is not emotionally involved with me or in our relationship. I am assuming that the dark haired man in the bed is there for me to understand that this
relationship is a threat to me and my relationship with God, and this dark haired man's presence that caused me to feel distrust reveals to me that I have a deep level of distrust of my boyfriend's intentions and that I shouldn't ignore those feelings (I have felt these distrustful feelings for some time on a conscious level during the day but what my eyes wanted to see and what my ears wanted to hear, contradicted the emotional reaction I was having). The fact that I had no emotion toward him, even though in real life I have a lot of emotion toward him, was a way for God to show me, beyond myself, that my emotion for him is not healthy and appropriate and was keeping me from seeing my boyfriend for who and how he is with me.

You're responses are welcome. God Bless

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Re: Boyfriend & Stranger in Bed

Post by dreamster on Mon Nov 09, 2009 10:19 pm

interesting blinky,,its amazin how informative drms can be,,i love ur name,, D


a merry heart, does good likea medicene, [ new international dee version,NIDV]

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Re: Boyfriend & Stranger in Bed

Post by lola21st on Mon Nov 09, 2009 11:15 pm

While I commented, I didn't add my own thoughts...I wanted to add that I saw the part of the dream with the other man in the bed as God showing you that your boyfriend has two sides...the side that you know and love and then this dark side that is condescending and doesn't treat you as the daughter of God that you are...your going to bed with them is showing that if you go further into a relationship with him, you're going to be dealing with both men...

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