Stealing USA

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Stealing USA

Post by Kellyjo on Mon Sep 07, 2009 2:36 pm

Notice-if u have been sexually abused or are recovering from sexual addiction, this dream contains mild sexual content that may be upsetting. Please don't read if in doubt. Blessings.

I had a dream that an ex boyfriend(man who was courting me) early this year was trying to have sex with me. He jumped off me and rejected me and I didnt understand why. I started to fall asleep as if I was helpless and I felt helpless. I actually felt hurt he rejected me. (that is so bothersome to me, as he was creepy and cruel and sex is for marriage). Well, as he got up to put his shoes on I realized they were boot-shoes like the ones my most recent (courter/boyfriend) wore when I went to visit him in Kansas(a farmer). This man in the dream put in a wig(jet blag and to the shoulder/a little dishevled) and said to me as he walked out "I'll get you later". At that moment I felt creeped out like it was a bad spirit saying it'll come back later. He walked out.
I then find myself in another bedroom down the hall(this was rustic type home, with regal furniture in the hallway) and his daughter(the boyfriend from early this year) was in the bedroom eating in the floor in front of tv by the nightstand. I went to the boutique closet and took a shirt out and then another. One was mine and the other was a boutique, girly style USA shirt that I knew wasn't mine, but I just 'stole' it anyway. Knowing I shouldn't I just did it.
I went to hallway, with regal glass cabinets and handsome study tables, and set my bag of things down, clothes, personal items, in a bag.
I just stood their alone, near the first bedroom and then I don't recall anymore.

I feel like I am lying about something. why would I steal this shirt? Knowing God sees me.
The only thing I ever stole that i remember was 1) at age 7 ish, A squirt gun 2) a bigwheel from mean neighbors at age 9, 3) a shirt at age 11 from a girl who had much more than me(not that it's right but I can see why a neglected kid would do something like that) 4) a bathing suit on a dare from a department store at age 13. These were all sin, I know. I have repented of these things many times. I am free.
But why would I have a dream I stole something(in front of rapists daughter in the dream)
I sort of feel responsible for something I may be stealing from God/re the USA.
I got a general curiosity of am I stealing from GOd if I am not on the right path doing HIS will for my life. Not just being a good Christian(or trying to be anyway) but I feel convicted in this dream while being raped, and feeling helpless like when I felt like this as girl......that I stole a USA shirt, knowing God was watching but just doing it anyway in my shame.

General info-
I was raised upper middle class and am well educated, well experienced in business and church life and have traveled both local and overseas. I have done ministry work, world business and home/spiritual life pursuist. I have overcome eating disorder, was delivered from drugs/suicide at age 17 and have fought for my spiritual health and recovery of what he enemy has taken. I currently evangelize and am active in the Spirit filled life.(healing, deliverance, reading spiritual(NOT NEW AGE) works and the Bible of course. This may be helpful when responding/maybe not.
God bless and thank you for your prayerful response.
In Christ alone,

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