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Need help...

Post by megonzales on Tue Jul 07, 2009 2:36 pm

I had a dream a few weeks ago. In the dream, I knew about a older man who had a commune, and was sexually exploiting women and abusing them. I volunteered and showed up at the commune to join instead of being abducted. I then stayed there until I realized the man was going crazy and was going to begin murdering those inside. It was over "christmas". I ran away into the woods. I was up in a tree and He was looking for me with hunting dogs and people from within the commune. But nobody from inside the commune would give me up. As I stayed in the tree I knew I was kinda " invisable" to the man, but the commune people lined up in a single line formation to my left and a tall slender black woman with a seventie's fro turns her head and sees me. But I know she won't say anything. It is then I notice, a large opening in the branches and leaves to my left. I also realize that I have to stay in the tree for some time to make it to freedom. I can see over a high chain link fence to a road and intercection that is freedom. But I can't go yet. I have to wait.


Last night I have a dream that the end mimics the message of the above dream...

I was in my parents bed from the house where I grew up. I was hiding under the covers and wanted to masterbate. I was looking forward to it. But my infant son (who looked like someone else's infant son, blond) was in bed too. I didn't have any regard for keeping him from my sin. It came to my mind in the dream that after seeing his private part un-wantingly, I was afraid in the dream I would be tempted to touch him inappropriately. I wasn't attracted to him or his private part. It troubled me that he was there and that I was scared of the possibility of being inappropraite with him. My husband walks in, I immediately cover my wanting to masterbate guilt by pulling on my pants quickly. I was relieved he came in.
Immediately after this scene, a completely differant setting:
I am walking into a futuristic prision, one cell, I am a guard, I just know that I am. I walk in and imediately am in a fighter stance to fight the inmate(I do not see who). After the fight(which I win but do not see the fight or the inmate) I know there is going to be a prision mutiny and that as a guard I needed to fight this inmate in this cell and take his uniform immediately and wait in the cell until the mutiny takes place to survive. It is a normal inmate orange jumpsuit.


Last edited by megonzales on Wed Jul 08, 2009 11:32 am; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : detail was wrong)

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Re: Need help...

Post by Guest on Wed Jul 08, 2009 8:58 am

Megonzales, I'm just going to throw some stuff out to you that comes up in my heart as I read through these dreams. I do believe that the two dreams cover the same subject. Is there something in your family history concerning molestation or sexual sin of some kind? In the first dream you were aware of this man who had the commune and you were aware of his sin. Rather than being "forced" to participate in this "commune" you joined it willingly and watched for a way of escape. Could this has to do with generational things in your family that you have a weakness/tendency towards? The reason I say that is because in your second dream you are now in the house where you grew up, in your parents' bed. That is a place of intimacy. I believe that bed and house is a symbol for your family and generational matters. Then you are concerned that you will act inappropriately with your son, and you're glad that your husband walks in. Could this actually be a concern in your heart, and is there a temptation there? If there is, I would highly recommend that you speak to your husband about it and expose it.

The second dream in the second half seems to further substantiate that you have a battle to fight. You are a guard in a jail. You are aware of situation where you know you will be required to fight, and you already know the outcome -- you will win! I see that as very positive. I also believe this is a repeat of the second half of the first dream, just showing it in a different way.

Also, in the first dream when you were hiding in the tree waiting for your escape, a scripture kept coming up in my heart. I feel like the tree could be symbolic of the Word of God based on the following scripture which references the Word of God as a place of refuge. This is Jesus talking about the Word of God and the kingdom of God and how the whole kingdom of God works off of the seed of the Word of God. (Mark 4:30-32, "And he said, Whereunto shall we liken the kingdom of God? or with what comparison shall we compare it? 31 It is like a grain of mustard seed, which, when it is sown in the earth, is less than all the seeds that be in the earth: 32 But when it is sown, it groweth up, and becometh greater than all herbs, and shooteth out great branches; so that the fowls of the air may lodge under the shadow of it.") If what I'm saying bears witness in your heart, I feel like God is exposing this generational thing in your family, and also giving you the answer or "the escape route" out of it -- the Word of God will set you free. Jesus said that if we believe on Him and continue in His Word then we are His disciples and we will know the truth and that truth (of God's Word) will make us free. (John 8:31-32, "Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; 32 And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.")

The best advice I can give you is to expose this thing and bring it out in the open. Openly share with your husband, and begin to dig into the Word of God and get free of this generational thing in your family. Receive NO condemnation. Everyone has things that we have to work out before the Lord. We all have to work out our salvation with fear and trembling.

Please consider what I have said prayerfully!

Sandra

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Re: Need help...

Post by megonzales on Wed Jul 08, 2009 10:01 am

Yes, I am dealing right now with seeking counseling after shoving extensive sexual abuse down for a LONG time. I have been asking God for help in guiding me in what to do about my parents who don't really acknowledge my struggle they just act like nothing happened and my mom who has been really rude and unsupportive sticks her head in the sand and actually defends my molester/rapeist. My friend keeps asking me to break off ties with them but I don't want to disrespect them but most importantly place my children in danger. I am NOT tempted to touch my children, or sexually abuse them, but I have been sick wondering if I could ever do something like that. I don't know what makes people do those things but I don't want my children to go through what I have, noone should ever have to. I am nervous because I am not being vigilent about what I watch these days and have found myself watching sex and the city when I struggle with lust. My husband came in and turned off the tv the night that I had this dream and told me to come to bed and I felt relieved. I was sitting on the couch pondering how I don't allow my children to watch certain things but now here I am watching it. The weirdest part is, is I haven't had to deal with this temptation for over a year. All of a sudden, perhaps because my husband is leaving and I don't have at home accountability, I am facing the temptation again. Progressively it seems.
I haven't told my accountability partners about the renewed temptation, and I think that that is what I need to tell, along with the fear for my children. I think I have been ignoring that the lust temptation is creeping back in, hoping it would go away.

I have never understood that scripture in quite that way. But I see it now. I am frustrated with all that I think I need to do, but I think that God is telling me to flee, fight, and wait. I know that scripture will set me free, but I have read, and studied for so long, I have sought deliverence for so long, it is difficult to keep it up these days.

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Re: Need help...

Post by Guest on Wed Jul 08, 2009 10:16 am

I totally understand what it's like to have to fight your way out of something. I think as believers we all go through stuff like that when it just seems like it's never ending. But, God has made a way of escape for every trial and temptation and He will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able to bear. (1 Corinthians 10:13, "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.") I have learned that to really get free from something it takes a total transformation of my mind, meaning the way I think. Only the Word of God is powerful enough to do that because it transcends the spirit, the soul and the body, and it's the only thing that can cross over into all three realms. (Hebrews 4:12, "For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. 13 Neither is there any creature that is not manifest in his sight: but all things are naked and opened unto the eyes of him with whom we have to do.")

I just want to encourage you as a sister in the Lord and say that you can never fail as long as you don't quit. Some battles we win, sometimes we fall, but the blood of Jesus is greater than all of our failures and we just pick ourselves back up and press back into the Word of God and run that race, expecting that God will put us over every time -- BECAUSE HE WILL! Don't allow yourself to weary of the fight. If you've been pressing into God's Word IT WILL BRING FORTH, and you will have a harvest. God is not mocked. Whatsover a man sows that shall he also reap. (Galatians 6:7, "Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap." Galatians 6:9, "And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.")

One thing I would encourage you to do besides just turning off programs that you know you shouldn't watch, is never allow those thoughts to remain with you. In other words, cast them down. You have to do this by speaking the Word of God to those thoughts as they rise up. You can't replace them with thoughts. Thoughts don't replace thoughts, but the Word of God transcends the soul and the spirit and can cross over and root those thoughts out. We are to "cast down imaginations and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God and bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ." (2 Corinthians 10:5, "Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;") Speak to your thoughts and say, "I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. I am more than a conqueror. I cast down these imaginations that are contrary to who God says I am, and I bring these thoughts into captivity to the obedience of Christ." As you do this, I promise, you will gain victory over your thought life if you will do it consistently every time. I realize it takes effort, but you will win the war over this thing, and once you gain the victory, you won't have to take this test anymore. It's like passing a grade level in school. Once you've passed it, you don't have to take that grade over again. It's the same way in the things of God. Once you've taken the Word and fought and overcome, the devil isn't as likely to come at you anymore with that same test because he realizes it's a waste of his time, and if he does, it's no big deal to you, because you're mind is already renewed in that area and it's simply not a temptation! Hallelujah! God is able and you are able through Him. You can and will overcome! I believe God is showing you that even in these dreams.

Blessings!

Sandra

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Re: Need help...

Post by megonzales on Wed Jul 08, 2009 2:38 pm

Baby- either I need to focus on wholeness/deliverance in a time consuming manner or I have been focusing on it (I have been but should I go to counseling and continue to focus on it so intently)

one year to 18m= deliverance or wholeness: either I have been working towards it for the past 1 y -18 m (I have) or I will be.

son- has none of my characteristics (physically not my son), is this my ministry? or is this saying that I don't know what is best for myself since I am the victim. Maybe that I should go to counseling and it might not be what I would think is my style? He was accidently exposed as his diaper didn't fit properly(needed changing). Am I right in feeling I don't want to pursue counseling for fear that I will be innocent/exposed and the possibility is there for being taken advantage of and noone is concerned about my welfare?

Husband- symbol of something

pants- putting on shame and guilt for wanting to sin but not sinning


Am I to pursue Christian counseling/ or just church, BIBLE, Prayer, spiritual warfare?

Am I to cut off my parents?

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Re: Need help...

Post by Guest on Thu Jul 09, 2009 7:36 am

I think the baby represents "the fear" of something like what happened to you, happening to your child. I realize that baby didn't look like your baby -- that's because it's not -- it's the fear that is in your heart about it your real baby. The only way to get rid of fear is to have the love of God perfected (or matured) in your heart. God says in His Word that "perfected love casts out fear because fear has torment and that when we fear it's because we're not matured in the love of God". (1 John 4:18: There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.) Then that completely hampers your faith because faith works by love. Do you see the connection? (So how do you do that? I always hate it when people tell me to do something and then don't tell me how.) You keep yourself in the love of God. (Jude 1:21, "Keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life.") If you read the whole context of this scripture in Jude it's talking about praying in the Spirit. That is one of the ways we "keep ourselves in the love of God". The Bible says that when we pray in the Spirit we "edify" or build ourselves up in our most holy faith. (Jude:1:20: But ye, beloved, building up yourselves on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Ghost,) I have also found that praise and worship and intimate time with God "keeps me in the love of God". As I press into God's manifest presence it's impossible for me not to understand His nature -- God is love. As you begin to trust that love and know it personally, fear will disappear because you know by experience that God will never fail you or let you down. You are just able to "trust" Him and rest in Him knowing that He will see you through and that you will pass through whatever you are going through unburned, and unscaited. He said we would "pass through" the fire, but we would not be burned. (Isaiah 43:2, "When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.")

I can't tell you not to go to counseling. You're going to have to do what you feel in your heart is right for you before God. But, I can tell you that thinking about this thing does not need to consume your life. You are NOT your past. You ARE the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus, and that's where your focus should be. (2 Corinthians 5:21, "For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him.") What you "think on" is what you will become. So think on whatsoever things are good, and lovely and of a good report. (Phillippians 4:8, "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.") Forgt those things which are behind you and press forward in Jesus. (Philippians 3:13-14, Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, 14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.") Don't spend your time focusing on what "has happened in the past", but rather on where you're going in Jesus and who you are In Him. Get busy focusing on the Word of God and pressing into God and your mind will be renewed/transformed and changed and you will just "change" without so much effort. God has said in HIs Word to "receive the engrafted word that is able to save your soul (mind, will and emotions)." (James 1:21, "Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls.") In other words, only one thing is needed -- press into the Word of God and lay all cares aside because the Word of God will change your situation by changing your heart, and your soul. The Word of God says, "2 Corinthians 3:18, "But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord." What this scripture is saying is that the Word of God is like a mirror. As you look into it and see "Jesus" in that Word you begin to change into His very image from glory to glory.

Another thing that really comes up in my heart to tell you is that GOD HAS ALREADY HEALED YOU. 1 Peter 2:24, "Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed." Jesus has already completed the work for this healing/deliverance at Calvary, and all you are doing right now is laying hold of it, and changing into the image of that redemption. In other words, all you need to do is renew your mind to it. That's our jobs as Christians to look into the mirror of God's word and let it transform our thinking. As you allow your thinking to be transformed YOU WILL CHANGE AND YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES WILL CHANGE because as a man thinks in his heart -- so is he! (Proverb 23:7, "For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee.)

As for "cutting off" your parents -- again I can't tell you what to do on that. I will say this, though, God has told us (Matthew 5:44), "But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;". He has also made it clear that we are to forgive. When God forgives us, He doesn't cut us off and cut us out of His life. However, having said that, if it's causing division between you and your husband -- that relationship should come first (not above forgiving your parents, but above associating with them.) If it were me, I would quit trying to bring the past up to my parents, and just forgive them and move forward. They may never acknowledge what they have done, but that's between them and God. It has no bearing on your healing/deliverance. Jesus has paid the price for you to be free, and you are free with or without their help. I think focusing on the parents side of things is simply focusing on a minor instead of a major. I would concentrate on God and me -- and not worry about anyone else involved. That's God's problem. You have enough to deal with already.

Also, about the "wanting to sin, but not sinning and feeling guilty thing". There is therefore, NO CONDEMNATION to those who are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. (Romans 8:1, "There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.") Don't allow the enemy to condemn you. Jesus has already paid the price for all of our sin past, present and future. He is not surprised about your desire to sin. But, every time you resist that temptation you win a victory! Instead of beating yourself up over the fact that you "wanted to", why don't you rejoice over the fact that you didn't and you won that battle. Every time you resist you take more spiritual ground. Yes, it may have been in your heart to do, but if you are presssing into God's Word and doing what you know to do, you are "presssing towards the mark" and God looks at our potential. He sees us as already all that He knows we can be in Him. When you are journeying towards your destiny, don't beat yourself up over the fact that you haven't arrived yet. Traveling is necessary to arrive to your destination. So, when guilt and condemnation comes up, speak this scripture out and cast it down. It is not from God!

I hope this has been an encouragement to you. The only thing I can say is just don't ever quit. If you don't quit -- you can't fail. Just keep pressing into God. He has already done the things necessary to see you completely whole and free. You are already "complete" and "whole" in Him. Begin to believe that and speak that over yourself and you will change into that very image. (Colossians 2:10, "And ye are complete in him, which is the head of all principality and power:")

Love in Jesus,

Sandra

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Re: Need help...

Post by megonzales on Wed Jul 15, 2009 6:53 am

I think I found one sybolism of the first dream. I seemed to have stumbled on a friend, who is black, and was ordained at the end of the 60's. She of course is not tall with a fro, but somehow I feel she fits there.

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Re: Need help...

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