Help! Need lots of help....

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Help! Need lots of help....

Post by Delightful soul on Wed Apr 29, 2009 6:27 am

Hi all,

I am wanting some help for a relationship I am in and would
appreciate it if you would agree with me for deliverance and healing of
my heart and give me some words of encouragment. I have done some things I am not proud of in my relationship
with a man who is very loving and caring. WHilst he is not as mature a
christian as myself, I feel I have smothered him and pushed him away.
Thus he has backed off and I feel whilst we are still going out that he
may break up with me if I continue suffocating him with my behaviour. I
want the Lord's will in this relationship and it is the first
relationship I have had in ten years thus my over attentive behaviour
towards this man which he feels is my "pressuring" him to committ. I am
all new at this but feel like a kid with a toy and am so happy to be in
a relationship with a caring man who is sooooo nice it is not funny.
The past two weeks I stayed at his place and we ended up fighting and
well, it is not good. This is a man who I could see myself marrying and
he has talked about this initially at the start of our relationship but
since I have been "smothering" him, he has backed right off from
wanting to talk to me about such stuff.

I am so sad over this and would love to pray for favour with this man
and for restoration as I do believe in my heart that I love him and
that he could be the one for me.....


He has been really hurt by women in his past and although I know I am
responsible for certain things and for pressuring him, I also know he
is reacting from past hurts also and this hurts too.

What I want to know is how I can move the hand of God to save this relationship-if indeed it is His will to do so? I am so in love with this person and every time I do anything it seems to push him away.

HE has also recently come out of a relationship last year and I wrote him a letter telling him that I thought he still had not gotten over her. To this he said he wanted to break up with me, then last week when I spoke to him about this he said he wished he had never written the email saying this to me......however since our couple of fights, he has backed right off and I feel as though I am losing his love.......

What can I do to regain this lovely man of God? I am trying to pray him back but also I don't want to be in denial either..............

I sometimes feel it is so hard to cause he still talks to me about his ex girlfriend alot about how awful she was and I get jealous about it. HE also has an ex wife and two kids and so there is history there and sometimes I find myself crying as I am so overwhelmed by all of this......

I am so ready for committment....I am of the age now where I want to start a family and get married and well he told me the other day that he once thought of starting another family again so he could have kids full time (his kids now he only has shared custody every second weekend) but that he is now too old he feels......he is ten years older than me and I am in my 30's....this is sad cause when we first went out he said he would like to have more kids some day....

Maybe I am trying too hard, not sure how to behave with men as they are a different kettle of fish indeed and I don't understand why he feel s pressured by me at all except to say that I am loving him with all that I know to do and say and feel.

Hope you can help.


C.

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Re: Help! Need lots of help....

Post by Cholette on Wed Apr 29, 2009 7:23 am

I left you a response to this on your other post (The Praying Place). I do want to say this...you can't control the hand of God...He is Sovereign...He only understands His word because He is one with it.

I think you ARE trying too hard...let God be God in your situation because if this guy isn't God's best for you then there is no need for you to force it. God loves you too much for that...

Blessings to you my new friend...


Do not fight FOR victory, but fight FROM THE PLACE of victory. Jesus has ALREADY won the battle!

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Re: Help! Need lots of help....

Post by dreamster on Thu Apr 30, 2009 2:46 am

hmm a truk load of detail..i'll be real short an honest,,but full of love an grace,,2 put water in ur hand u must cup ur open hand 2 hold it,,the more u close ur hand and squeeze the faster u lose the water,,open handed u lose none,,i hope u undastand my pikture,,gods best 2 u,, flower flower D

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Re: Help! Need lots of help....

Post by Delightful soul on Thu Apr 30, 2009 5:03 am

i think I get what you mean. There is wisdom in the counsel of many and all of my friends have said "back off" and basically I am going to let the chips fall where they may......God is in control of my life and I can't control this relationship. I so want it to work, but it is not going to work if I try to hard and squeeze the life out of it by pushing this man.....

Thanks so much, :clap:

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Re: Help! Need lots of help....

Post by Guest on Thu Apr 30, 2009 8:30 am

And the peace of God. The peace that comes by putting all in the hands of the one who is able and willing to deliver.
Which passeth all understanding. Whenever we fully trust the Lord there comes a peace that is past the understanding of those who have never experienced it.
Shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. That peace will be a guard which will keep the heart and thoughts holy and pure.

Psa 37:4-6) Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. {5} Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass. {6} He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, And your justice as the noonday.

The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD, And He delights in his way. {24} Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down; For the LORD upholds him with His hand

But I will hope continually, And will praise You yet more and more. {15} My mouth shall tell of Your righteousness And Your salvation all the day, For I do not know their limits. {16} I will go in the strength of the Lord GOD; I will make mention of Your righteousness, of Yours only.
Praise the LORD! Blessed is the man who fears the LORD, Who delights greatly in His commandments. {2} His descendants will be mighty on earth; The generation of the upright will be blessed. {3} Wealth and riches will be in his house, And his righteousness endures forever. {4} Unto the upright there arises light in the darkness; He is gracious, and full of compassion, and righteous. {5} A good man deals graciously and lends; He will guide his affairs with discretion. {6} Surely he will never be shaken; The righteous will be in everlasting remembrance. {7} He will not be afraid of evil tidings; His heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD. {8} His heart is established; He will not be afraid, Until he sees his desire upon his enemies. {9} He has dispersed abroad, He has given to the poor; His righteousness endures forever; His horn will be exalted with honor. {10} The wicked will see it and be grieved; He will gnash his teeth and melt away; The desire of the wicked shall perish.

"Is this not the fast that I have chosen: To loose the bonds of wickedness, To undo the heavy burdens, To let the oppressed go free, And that you break every yoke? {7} Is it not to share your bread with the hungry, And that you bring to your house the poor who are cast out; When you see the naked, that you cover him, And not hide yourself from your own flesh? {8} Then your light shall break forth like the morning, Your healing shall spring forth speedily, And your righteousness shall go before you; The glory of the LORD shall be your rear guard. {9} Then you shall call, and the LORD will answer; You shall cry, and He will say, 'Here I am.' "If you take away the yoke from your midst, The pointing of the finger, and speaking wickedness, {10} If you extend your soul to the hungry And satisfy the afflicted soul, Then your light shall dawn in the darkness, And your darkness shall be as the noonday. {11} The LORD will guide you continually, And satisfy your soul in drought, And strengthen your bones; You shall be like a watered garden, And like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail. {12} Those from among you Shall build the old waste places; You shall raise up the foundations of many generations; And you shall be called the Repairer of the Breach, The Restorer of Streets to Dwell In. {13} "If you turn away your foot from the Sabbath, From doing your pleasure on My holy day, And call the Sabbath a delight, The holy day of the LORD honorable, And shall honor Him, not doing your own ways, Nor finding your own pleasure, Nor speaking your own words, {14} Then you shall delight yourself in the LORD; And I will cause you to ride on the high hills of the earth, And feed you with the heritage of Jacob your father. The mouth of the LORD has spoken."

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Re: Help! Need lots of help....

Post by Delightful soul on Thu Apr 30, 2009 9:34 pm

thankyou, the last scriptures meant all the more to me as they have been given to me many times (about the fast).....

God is good and faithful to me and I know that He is my deliverer and shield..........

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Re: Help! Need lots of help....

Post by delight68 on Thu Jun 11, 2009 3:51 am

Hi im new to this site, so forgive me, if you feel im intruding on anything. But couldnt help hear your hearts cry. It seems to me that both yourself and this man have some healing that is needed as there seems to be a lot of insecurities on both parts. To go fully into this relationship right now could be disastrous in my opinion for you both and you could just end up in more hurt. I think that what many have tried to say here is right, you have heard the scripture that unless a grain of wheat falls in the earth and dies, it cannot produce good fruit, I feel you might have to die to this relationship and hand it over to God and trust in Him to bring the desires of your heart. At the moment your own hurts and fears are getting in the way of what God wants to do in your life, He wants to be the primary source and trust me even when you get married it can be very lonely, marriage is not an answer for heartfelt hurts and needs, God is. If this relationship is right, God will sort it, but it might have to die first.

God bless, and these are just my thoughts, so do pray about them wont you and take care....

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Re: Help! Need lots of help....

Post by Dove-Solutions on Thu Jun 11, 2009 5:14 am

Isaiah 54:5 says this:

For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of Hosts is His name and your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel; He is called the God of the whole earth.

To me all other relationships including mine with my earthly husband are secondary and I would forsake all others for my husband Jesus. When I gave that part of my heart to him he started rebuilding my earthly relationship with my husband.

He gave me this scripture when I first came to know him: Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your path.


When we turn it all over to him....he will be the voice behind us saying " this is the way....walk in it"

Give it to Jesus and let him handle it. He will work out his perfect will in the situation....our job is to trust him to do it. I will be praying for your situation. God bless and all said here is in the love of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Connie


~Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Himand He will direct your path.~ Proverbs 3:5-6

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Re: Help! Need lots of help....

Post by Delightful soul on Thu Jun 25, 2009 3:56 am

Hi all,

I want to thankyou for all your input into this dilema of mine.

I ended up going to a conference, breaking up with my boyfriend and my house got flooded all in the one week!

All fun stuff, and I believe that it was a job like experience for me, but I have come out of it victorious and very relieved.


All of you have blessed me no end with your words of wisdom.


Bless you all and I hope and pray that God will bless you a hundred fold for the good you all have sown.



Claire

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Encouragement

Post by newleaf on Thu Jun 25, 2009 4:23 am

I want to encourage you!




I got married at 36 and had my baby when I was 38!
She was worth waiting 38 years for!
Now I am 41, expecting again. I had genetic tests done both times and this time the drs told me that my genetic risk for problems with this baby-Down Syndrome or neural tube defects is the same as a 30 year old!

The Lord renews our youth!
Sarah was over 90 when she had her Isaac!

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Re: Help! Need lots of help....

Post by Delightful soul on Thu Jun 25, 2009 4:26 am

you read my heart!

It has been on my mind my age and well, I do keep encouraging myself with the fact that Sarah was of a good age before she did the most amazing thing, give birth to the seed of Abraham....

Bless you very much for this word of encouragement.....

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Re: Help! Need lots of help....

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