dream about my grandson / a toddler - big questions

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dream about my grandson / a toddler - big questions

Post by Jodi on Thu Feb 05, 2009 6:28 pm

I was waking up and began to have a dream. I knew it was a dream while I was having it. I saw a blond toddler at the side of my bed. He wanted to climb up into the bed with me, but needed some help so I lifted the covers with one arm and scooped him up with the other. As I lifted him over me to lie beside me under the covers, I noticed that he smelled like he might need a diaper change soon. I thought about not letting him lay down yet and getting him changed first. Instead I decided to let him cuddle first and change the diaper afterwards. I sensed that this toddler was my grandchild and that I would get to raise him. (IRL, my only grandson was miscarried early in my daughter's pregnancy. My daughter found out she was pregnant the same day she found out that she had miscarried.) I asked him, "Do you know why we love you?" He seemed troubled and answered, "No." This made me sad because he seemed to not feel loved. I told him "We all love you because you're so lovable." Then I woke up.



I had mixed feelings because I felt as though somehow I was being allowed to love on my grandbaby (She named him P.J.) But it didn't make sense because if it were him, he would know that he's loved since he's in heaven and he wouldn't have a stinky diaper. I realize now that it wasn't him. My other thought was why isn't my daughter able to raise him? I would love having that much time with a grandbaby, but it would be bittersweet because I'd know she would be missing out on this time with her own child. My daughter is in the Navy and is currently serving in Kuwait. Could it be that she had died and left me the baby? But I'm trusting God to protect her so I believe that she was alive and just not there. Could it be that she had him but was serving out of country and couldn't take him with her? These are the questions that first came to my mind after realizing it was not my first grandchild. (IRL I have no other grandchildren. I have two sons, but associated this with my daughter because I thought of the toddler as her baby P.J.) Then I considered the possibility that the baby might not be a literal baby but symbolic of a ministry. I'm not sure what it means but it is important.

Please pray for understanding. The dream doesn't make me depressed. I feel a little sad because the toddler seemed sad, a little worried about my daughter not being able to be with him, and at the same time pleased to have the baby to love and raise. In this case, I think my emotions are clouding my understanding because it might not be about an actual grandchild anyway. It could mean a ministry that I didn't start but that I will "adopt" and "raise," that has a stinky diaper needing changed, and that needs to feel loved.


Last edited by Jodi on Mon Mar 02, 2009 11:15 am; edited 1 time in total

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Re: dream about my grandson / a toddler - big questions

Post by Halo on Thu Feb 05, 2009 9:35 pm

Jodi~ You are right about the ministry Part and adoption/raise...This dream goes hand and hand with the vision (cake) and the messenger of the Lord (prophet). The changes that are going to be made due to "uncertainty" of things that are unseen or indistinct at this time...will be nurtured and reared up into a maturity but is in the toddler stage so to speak...Why do we love the Lord? Because God gave his only-begotton son (only-grandson) just like the song says "Because he firsrt loved Me". How do we show the Son (Lord) that we love him...through obedience, giving attendence to reading his word, etc, not just by being a hearer but a doer aswell, telling him...but showing him aswell...now that's evident and distinct. He will never leave us or forsake us (miscarried)...even when we are uncertain about life's journey and woe's....He'll go with you all the way, never to aboard...but will carry you and see you through it, Amen~ :rocking:



Salutations,
Halo

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Re: dream about my grandson / a toddler - big questions

Post by Jodi on Fri Feb 06, 2009 11:42 am

Halo! While considering your words, more understanding came to me! This is an amazing blessing to me. Praise God for this dream and for your help in understanding it!



The toddler represents my ministry to Jesus that I have adopted and it is in its toddler stage. My ministry to Jesus needs a change because I procrastinated about taking care of the messy diaper. This relates to me IRL because I procrastinate about doing what I feel the Holy Spirit is leading me to do and the reason for this is my insecurity about whether or not I really know what He wants me to do or if I’m making it up myself. I’m often unsure what I should do.



I felt the toddler (my ministry to Jesus) needed to be reassured that it was loved, so I waited before attending to my minsitry’s need to be changed. Wow! This relates to my ministry as a teacher (which I began because I wanted the children to know they are loved) and my new desire to change to writing as a ministry. I was harassed in my last full time position to the extent that I was no longer sure I had really been called to teach. I had felt that I needed to teach in my own classroom again for a principal who appreciates my teaching style in order to have the past horrible experience redeemed. I have been teaching as a substitute (“adopting” other people’s classes) for the past 5 years. During this time I have received affirmation that I am a good teacher because many teachers request me and I can handle even difficult classes.



Recently I’ve been wondering if I should lay teaching aside and begin a Christian writing career. Maybe this is the “change my ministry needs” and I don’t need to worry about my teaching being reaffirmed (knowing it is loved/ appreciated) by getting hired to teach in my own classroom. Changing my teaching ministry to being an occasional teacher has blessed me with time to spend in the Lord’s presence and time to write the things He’s been teaching me. My insecurities as a teacher have been nurtured and will mature. My writing about who Jesus calls us to be will be a form of teaching. This type of teaching won’t be my own “baby” because I will be caring for it and “raising” it for someone else. I’ll be doing this for the sake of helping others “grow up” in their development as Christians (sons and daughters of Christ). The toddler I get to raise represents Christ’s sons and daughters (Christians) and God’s only grandson (the Body of Christ)!



The changes that are going to be made are in the toddler stage. This matches where I am with the maturity of my writings. I have some experience as a writer, but not much.



God gave his only-begotton son, Jesus. The son of Jesus is the Body of Christ He birthed. The Body of Christ is God’s grandson!



We show the grandson (Body of Christ) that we love him and Him through living lives that reflect that God loves us and that spill over with love for others. We show this by being obedient to God, reading His word, and by paying attention to His words given today. We show the Body of Christ that s/he is loved by being doers of the Word as well as speakers (or writers) of it! We show the rest of the world that God is who He says He is when we become transformed into Christ’s likeness. We, as the Body of Christ, need to become more and more like Christ in every way by letting the Holy Spirit transform our thinking, our emotions, and our actions. “Now that's evident and distinct.” You just clarified for me what God wants me to go after in my writings! He wants me to let His grandson know he’s loved and He wants me to help him mature!



“He will never leave us or forsake us (miscarried)...even when we are uncertain about life's journey and woe's. (I’ve learned the truth of this through some hard experiences!)

He'll go with you all the way and will carry you and see you through it.” - This sounds like He’ll help me have ideas about what to write. It would be intimidating (I’m not a pastor, so who am I to preach?) to take on writing for the spiritual development of other Christians without Him “carrying me through it.” This is good news to me since I can know now that my ministry will mature because God has said it will!

- Jodi:rocking:

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Re: dream about my grandson / a toddler - big questions

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