Scared my past will sneak up on me

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Scared my past will sneak up on me

Post by Daisy on Tue Dec 30, 2014 5:12 am

Irl, I had a very bad experience when I first became a christian.  The people who introduced me to God, were off in their theology, and twisted the bible for their own selfish gain.  I was encouraged to cut off my family, and friends in fear of backsliding and going to hell.  I was very young and niave.  They were much older than me, and claimed to be pastors.  I did everything they said out of fear. I moved out of my parents house, and into theirs.  I was mistreated, an taken advantage of financially.  I was constantly, controlled, belittled, criticized, intimidated, and at times even physically intimidated if I resisted their authority.  It was an awful way to live, yet because I loved God, and was convinced by them that if I left that I would fall away from him! I stayed in this envoronment for 7 years.  It wasn't until I got involved in a local church that I started to realize this wasn't Gods will for me.  God has since restored so much to me!!  I still lost so many years of my life during this time.  I didn't pursue college either because of their discouragement.  

I had a dream I was in a classroom with these two women.  When class dismissed, the one girl who was the meanest approached me.  She asked me where I was going.  I was scared of her, and didnt want to tell her anything.  In the dream I was still living with her, and felt like I had to tell her.  I said I was going to a gymnastics class, and I was hoping she wasn't going to follow me. (I used to do gymnastics as a child). I cut through this building to get to my car.  There wasn't anyone else in the building at the time,and I was hoping she didn't follow me and try to intimidate me.  While cutting through the building, I was thinking to myself, "I really need to move out of her house.  I cant stay there for rent free forever.  She doesn't even know me anymore.  I could go and live with my parents again." I was making plans to change things up.  It was as if I wasn't married, and I was time warped back to that awful time.  The only thing that was different, is that I wasn't one bit scared of going to hell.  I was secure in my relationship with God.  I wasn't scared of backslliding if I were to go back to my family.  I really hated the feeling of being scared of her though!!  When I got to the other side of the building, I found the parking lot.  I was looking for my white car, the car that I owned way before I met what I now call, "The crazy Ladies!" It was my first car I owned, when I was 15 (I got my drivers liscence early).


Ephesians 2:8,9 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.
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Daisy
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Re: Scared my past will sneak up on me

Post by dreamster on Tue Dec 30, 2014 11:06 pm

what what what i\\'m sorry i\\'m sorry thats just hiddious,,i hope youve gotten support/counciling etc, thats very traumatiseing, :hairraising: :hairraising:
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Re: Scared my past will sneak up on me

Post by dreamster on Tue Dec 30, 2014 11:11 pm

scratching chin i think its a clear picture of your own progress youve made, happy dance :hooray: and the stable beleif system you have, idea i still think theres fear holding you captive, :shocking: ,,i think your dream is a clear message to you ,revealing your sub concious werld, ,,i would seek prayer and counciling to minister to these areas in your life, :glory:
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