I need help discerning what is the right thing to do...

View previous topic View next topic Go down

I need help discerning what is the right thing to do...

Post by Shan on Thu Jun 12, 2014 11:23 pm

I welcomed someone into my home about three months ago. I have told the Lord that I would use my home to be hospitable to others in need ,rent and utility free. He has been faithful to bring people to me.

I reconnected with a junior high school friend who had had a stroke and was in desperate need of a place to live. I wasn't going to respond to her facebook request because I didn't think I could provide what she was asking for. She was asking for a whole house, but all I had was a room. I felt the Lord tell me to respond anyway so I did and she accepted the invitation.

Things went well at first. She has needed me a lot more than I had planned, but since God made this arrangement, I did what I could.

This roommate is becoming increasingly paranoid and demanding. She has violated some boundaries and I have gently confronted her on this on more than one occasion. Recently, she did something I had asked her not to do for my parents' 50th anniversary, but she and one of her friends decided it was needed after all. When I told her she was taking too many liberties with my parents' anniversary party, she became upset, cried and has decided not to attend even though I have told her she is still welcome to come. After this confrontation, she told me that she would like for me to start asking her permission when I leave my dog at home when I go to work. I have never expected her to take care of my dog as his routine doesn't change if someone is at home or not. My roommate has a dog of her own as well. She also stated that she would appreciate it if I asked her if it was okay with her for a friend of mine (who she has met) to stay in my home while I am gone on a two-week mission trip this summer. The person I invited over is in a difficult living situation herself and I thought she could stay for a weekend to get away, but I told my friend I would ask my roommate if she minded, which I did. I also did this to benefit my roommate because she is scared to be alone for too long. My roommate said that I should have waited to extend an invitation to my friend after checking with her first. She has told me not to mention a certain person's name in her presence, not to talk to her mother (which I have never done) and not to talk to certain mutual friends of ours about her present condition or anything about her. I do not talk to these people anyway, we are just facebook friends.

There is no peace in my home and my spirit is disturbed. I am conflicted because I believe God brought her into my home and she keeps saying that if it weren't for me, she would be out on the streets. I can't live by the boundaries she has placed up for me. Yes, I get irritated with her at times and my attitude changes, because of her being pushy. She has told me I have disappointed her as a Christian, because I get short with her at times. I know she has had a stroke and try to make allowances for that and there are many times I bite my tongue. The stroke has not affected her speech or walk. You would never know she had a stroke by just talking to her. She does suffer from headaches and she claims that her processing is not what it used to be, and I know this to be true of stroke patients. I don't know what to do. I really want her out of my house, but am worried it will ruin my witness. She is receiving disability now, so she could afford to rent a room now somewhere else. There are other people (including two of her doctors) who have terminated their relationships with her due to difficult behavior. I truly believe that a lot of her behavior is her true nature, not just due to the stroke.

I just need prayer and wisdom. This is becoming unbearable and is not like any other roommate situation I have ever dealt with. Thank you in advance. I am open to anything that might help me and feel free to share what God tells you in your spirit. Thank you!


Last edited by Shan on Thu Jun 12, 2014 11:29 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : grammar)

Shan
Junior Member
Junior Member

Posts : 721
Points : 1053
Join date : 2011-09-01
Location : Texas

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: I need help discerning what is the right thing to do...

Post by exo152 on Fri Jun 13, 2014 9:55 am

Shan,
Has she simply overstayed her welcome? When God asks something of you, He gives you the anointing to carry it through. But when the job is over, the anointing is gone and then the job becomes hard. Perhaps this roommate really wants and needs to step out on her own, but is fearful, hence the attitude. Just my thoughts. Praying for you!

exo152
Junior Member
Junior Member

Posts : 400
Points : 682
Join date : 2012-11-12
Age : 50
Location : Midwest

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: I need help discerning what is the right thing to do...

Post by Cholette on Fri Jun 13, 2014 10:48 am

It's time for her to go Shan.  The thing about this is she is abusive and is abusing her stay there.  Yes, God may have told you it was okay for her to live there, but the thing is she had choices along the way and it is apparent that she chose to become demanding and disrespectful in YOUR home.

I think that your Christian witness is compromised by allowing someone to come into your home and disrupt the peace.  Don't allow her manipulative ways to keep you at bay and stagnant from making the right decision.  You should give her a 30 day notice (or whatever your state says to give a renter) to be out.  

God never intends for us to be live outside of the way he would treat us.  We always use the quote "what would Jesus do?" in the context of how we treat others, but never use it in the context of how others should treat us.  What would Jesus do?  He wouldn't manipulate you or put those types of demands on you as she has done.  He wouldn't throw the "Christian" card at you just to keep you from telling the truth.  What Jesus would do is keep the peace and bringing everything back into order...like going through the temple and flipping over tables, reminding people that His House will not be utilized or become a place of manipulation.

Let's get the ball rolling...she must go!  Get your house back in order.

IMHO... wink


Do not fight FOR victory, but fight FROM THE PLACE of victory. Jesus has ALREADY won the battle!

Cholette
Moderator
Moderator

Posts : 3879
Points : 4070
Join date : 2008-08-04
Age : 49

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: I need help discerning what is the right thing to do...

Post by Shan on Sun Jun 15, 2014 9:18 am

Thank you Exo and Cholette! This is confirmation as to what I am feeling I need to do. I have truly searched my heart and do not feel I am in the wrong here. There are things being brought out in me that I am uncomfortable with. I feel I am on the verge of becoming downright mean. Thank you for your prayers and words of wisdom! I need them!

Shan
Junior Member
Junior Member

Posts : 721
Points : 1053
Join date : 2011-09-01
Location : Texas

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: I need help discerning what is the right thing to do...

Post by Sponsored content Today at 6:29 pm


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

View previous topic View next topic Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum