Herion Addict: A Mother's Regrets

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Herion Addict: A Mother's Regrets

Post by Daisy on Sun May 11, 2014 6:54 pm

Background: Ok so irl my daughter is adopted.  Her birth mother died of an overdose of herione.  Because of her addiction, she lost rights to her biological child.  Her own mother enabled her to continue her drug use.  Allowing her to live with her, and not having tough love on her.  She did attempt to get clean a few times, and the system they had in place for addicts allowed previous heroine addicts to use a supposively 'cleaner' controlled substance to help wean the addicts.  This system is messed up, because in many cases the users learn how to use this substance to continue to get high. Its a really easy thing to manipulate.  They are supposed to drink the substance instead of shooting up with it.  Many addicts pretend to drink it, only to hold it in their mouths to go in another room to put it into a needle to shoot it into their blood to get higher.  My daughters biological mom still overdosed, even though she was in this messed up 'program'. I think she was doing both the synthetic heroine, and the street version at the same time.

Ok, so my dream:

I had a dream that my daughters biological mom was actually my daughter.  In the dream I felt like I birthed her.  She was older, around the age she was when she died. In the dream she was an addict still.  She just got out of getting clean, and then they brought her to come live with me.  I seen a syringe without a needle, and it had clear fluid in it intended for her to drink.  I clearly remember the fluid not having any air in it, and it was bulging at the end of the needless syringe, like it was ready to drip out. I was Furious!  I was SO upset that they started her on this so called 'program'! I knew in my heart that the program was not helping addicts get clean, but was keeping them in bondage!  I cant express how ANGRY I felt!  I demanded to the authorities for them to take my daughter BACK to DETOX to get this crap out of her system!  I felt so adamant about it!!!  I knew she didn't have a chance unless she was truly clean from all substances!

I think that irl the birthmothers mom is probably regretting not doing what I did in this dream, and I was carrying this burden for her. I woke up so ANGRY!  Like it was real!  

I'm pretty sure that this is what my dream was about.  What regret she must feel, since her daughter overdosed irl, and this system failed her. Now her daughter is gone forever!  Today is actually Mother's Day, and I think I was carrying the burden this woman feels, with the loss of her daughter failing in this system that the world has put in place to help addicts clean up.  I just kept praying for her all day, wondering how hard this day must have been for her as a mother who lost her own child.  Im still open to thoughts and comments.  This is just what I thought more than likely my dream meant, from the feelings I had upon waking.

Ephesians 2:8,9 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.

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