I want to stop hating

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I want to stop hating

Post by Lara on Wed Jun 12, 2013 4:03 pm

So lately, I've found myself disliking or hating certain aspects of "christianity" and certain types of Christian people.

To give some background as to how this came about. The last couple years and some of my life have been very challenging and God sustained me  through it but needless to say things didn't work out the way I would have hoped and I feel disillusioned and disappointed. It was very hard to see almost everything fall to the ground or feel like if things are always being snatched from under your nose while of course others got everything that you wanted.

I have lost all confidence in sermons and religious materials as I feel as though those things just set me up for a fall. Someone said to me that not everything in a sermon is for you and sometimes even if it is, the time may not be right. Okay fine. I can accept that. But the whole experience of having others do crap to you and get away with it and seemingly very little recompense coming my way was very hard to bear.

So now I've moved back home which in my heart of hearts I didn't want to do. I find myself kind of secretly being glad when someone who was the poster child of modern day christianity (for me these are people who suscribe to the I work for God look how he has blessed me mentality. I have favour because I'm a child of the king set) and actually has the worldly success to back it up; I enjoy it immensely when they fall.

If it is that they dont fall but enjoy some success which could rightly be attributed to them serving God. I find myself feeling hateful. Not a good place to be. I know it's because of my past indoctrination and then the disappointments that followed in the years after. I've prayed and fasted to God about coming out of the emotional darkness I'm in. It has helped. How do I stop this kind of hating? I feel like if I've become one of those awful people who becomes evil after something bad happens to them.

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Re: I want to stop hating

Post by Jasmine on Wed Jun 12, 2013 5:33 pm

I understand how you feel. Before I go on, I just want to say that you have a valid reason to feel hateful. I've been there. I used to be very hateful of certain people and other things. To be honest, I still revel in the fact that my old enemy is on a much worse path then I am. I know that isn't the Christian thing to do, but God understands my weakness, and he understands yours. I'm not condoning it, because it's not right. However, what you feel is what you feel. You can't fight it with success. I found that out through DBT therapy. 

Anyway, ask yourself what is the opposite of hate. It's love, pure agape love. Where do you get pure agape love? From God. The way I combat my hate is through God's love. Ask him to let you see people the way he sees them. Also, ask God to fill you with his love. When I was first filled with his love, there was no room for hate. To this day, I still think I've lost the ability to hate. I can dislike, but it's still hard to do that. 

Speaking to your situation, life is tough.The Bible says that God makes it rain on the good and evil people. He also makes the sun shine on both. When bad things happen in our lives, it's not his discipline or punishment, because Jesus stood in our place for that, plus if we need correction, the Holy Spirit will convict us. It's not to teach us a lesson, the Holy Spirit is here to help us with that. The reason for suffering in this world is not clear. Yes, the world is fallen. Yes, God lets these thing happen. Yes, the devil is mostly responsible for our pain. But, pain has a purpose,

Moving on, know that you are not alone. I have four mental/emotional disorders that I have been diagnosed with. I have been suffering pain since early childhood. I have been mistreated and my life is far from fair. Also know that just because your pain is not as bad as let's say a starving child in Africa, doesn't mean you don't need, help, attention, love, understanding, validating, etc. Don't listen to people who compare you to the less fortunate. They believe only what they can see and they can't empathize with pain they can't see. I don't believe it's good to even believe in comparing yourself to the less fortunate. I mean how would you feel if you heard people say or even know that they were thinking they're so much better of then you? I'm going off on a tangent. 

You want things to get better, you have to P.U.S.H. (pray until something happens). Even if something happens, keep praying. Also change your perspective (ask God for help with that, too), and don't let your joy be circumstantial. Let it be based off gratitude. Think of all the things God has done for you. If you can't think of any personal things, think of Jesus's sacrifice. 

On another note, what are the things you hate about Christianity?

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Re: I want to stop hating

Post by exo152 on Wed Jun 12, 2013 6:01 pm

Lara,
I don't know your story, but I know this; Jesus died to set you free, He sacrificed everything he was for everything you need. When we get our eyes off Jesus and onto our hurts, other people and situations around us, it is easy to become bitter and disillusioned. We become like Peter, who made a big step in stepping out of the boat, onto the water, but in noticing the wind and the waves, he forgot about Jesus, standing there with arms open wide.  Everyone misses it from time to time. Everyone finds themselves in a place they didn't expect to be. But turning to Jesus CAN turn it around. Sometimes we just have to get alone with Jesus, worship him without asking for anything, focus on him and his love and let him heal the hurts and let him begin to rebuild our lives. When we get our eyes on Jesus, we lose focus on those things that irritate us so badly.When we stand before Jesus on that day, it isn't going to matter what you had in this life, where you went or what you wore. The only things that will matter is, did you love him? did you share him? could others see him in you?  Praying for you!!

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Re: I want to stop hating

Post by Jasmine on Wed Jun 12, 2013 6:04 pm

exo152 wrote:Lara,
I don't know your story, but I know this; Jesus died to set you free, He sacrificed everything he was for everything you need. When we get our eyes off Jesus and onto our hurts, other people and situations around us, it is easy to become bitter and disillusioned. We become like Peter, who made a big step in stepping out of the boat, onto the water, but in noticing the wind and the waves, he forgot about Jesus, standing there with arms open wide.  Everyone misses it from time to time. Everyone finds themselves in a place they didn't expect to be. But turning to Jesus CAN turn it around. Sometimes we just have to get alone with Jesus, worship him without asking for anything, focus on him and his love and let him heal the hurts and let him begin to rebuild our lives. When we get our eyes on Jesus, we lose focus on those things that irritate us so badly.When we stand before Jesus on that day, it isn't going to matter what you had in this life, where you went or what you wore. The only things that will matter is, did you love him? did you share him? could others see him in you?  Praying for you!!
I totally agree!

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Re: I want to stop hating

Post by Lara on Sun Jun 16, 2013 9:53 am

Thank you for all of the responses. They really helped.

Jasmine in response to your question, at one point I just hated feeling like an outsider all the time. Someone who could never measure up to what ever it was they said I was supposed to aspire to. I didn't fit the typical "christian" mold i.e be passionate about a ministry, serving in some form in church etc.

It drove me nuts and made me feel like if something was wrong with me. Now I realize those feeling are due to unresolved issues in other areas of my life.

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