Boundaries and Selfishness

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Boundaries and Selfishness

Post by Daisy on Tue Apr 09, 2013 8:03 am

I had a dream, thats a bit choppy. At first there was an old friend of my moms that wanted to be around me all the time. She was clingy and needy. She had a calendar, and she had it marked down that her and I were going to hang out everyday for the whole month. 31 days stands out to me. I felt like she was being pushy, and I didn't want to hang out with her everyday. Plus, I didn't trust her one bit. (IRL she is a gossip, and busybody) I felt uncomfortable that I had to set a boundary with her, but I knew I had to do it. I told her I was free to hang out one day specifically for a couple hours, but I couldn't do the whole month. I dont remember her response, if there was one at all.

Then I was at a round table. I had someone sitting next to me that I knew well, and felt comfortable. There were two other women there that I didn't know in the dream, and didn't have the same comfort level with. They had a little boy that was sitting next to them as well. He was 3 or 4, and had a sweet nature. He was whistling a happy song. On my plate, I had food for myself, and two different kids meals that I specifically got for the child. I didn't start eating my food yet, and was going to offer the child the two meals first before starting my own food. The other woman whom I didn't know well, was extremely overweight. She was rude and mean to the child. She finished the food on her plate first and was done before I even started to offer the food to the child. She left a few small portions for the child to eat as his meal. To me, it didnt seem like nearly enough food for a meal for the child. I felt sorry for the child, that he was only offered her leftover scraps. At this point I had a change of mind, I felt like it was no longer my place to step in, or to offer the food I got for the child anymore. I remember having the thought that this caregiver, or mother was very selfish.

End of dream


Ephesians 2:8,9 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.

Daisy
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Re: Boundaries and Selfishness

Post by TheWhiteShadow on Tue Apr 09, 2013 10:27 am

Hi, Daisy -

The first part of your dream would likely be about someone similar to that lady in the dream. Is there someone in your life right now that is just a pushy and requires a lot more of your time than you're willing to give? Where do you feel like someone (or something) is just requiring more time than you can reasonably give?

It would seem that the message is to set the boundary, even if you're not feeling comfortable about it. In the dream, you knew that this was what you had to do.

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Re: Boundaries and Selfishness

Post by Daisy on Sun Apr 21, 2013 5:22 am

Hi Mark, In my waking life I cant think of anyone right off the bat right now that is clingy and pushy. That doesn't mean that I wont encounter someone like this in the near future. In the past I have attracted some of these personalities, and boundaries was not always a strong point for me. I feel as I have matured a bit, this has become easier for me. I have been in a funky season with all our moves, stresses etc. There have been some friends like this that I have kept at a distance during this last year, bc I just have had too much going on to give my energy to these specific friends. One friend I cut off entirely, who wasn't usually clingy until I started setting boundaries with her...she then began to get pushy inviting herself over and stuff like that. I realized I was blowing her off bc in my heart I didn't trust her anymore, bc of her character. She was always talking bad about people, and sharing personal business of others with me that I didn't need to know. Even though I cant prove it, I KNOW in my heart that she was backbiting me, and sharing my business with others (Just like this woman in the dream, she is a busybody)! This friend is super sad I cut her off, but I just dont want people like her in my life. I have no contact whatsoever with this friend. It was a very hard decision for me, bc I dont like rejecting anyone...but I had to follow my heart and but a firm boundary with this person bc the fact is...she just isnt a safe person. SO....with this being said, do you think this dream is for a future event OR do you think that this is something that has already occurred?????

Thanks for your help Mark!! :hooray:


Ephesians 2:8,9 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.

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Re: Boundaries and Selfishness

Post by TheWhiteShadow on Sun Apr 21, 2013 6:41 am

Ah, given what you've shared, I think the first part of your dream may have already occurred. Maybe it's just a reminder to pray for that person since they're sad about the boundary? Of course, that doesn't mean the boundary has to be changed.

I don't know why I didn't say anything about the 2nd part of your dream when I first read it. I think that it's mostly literal - that it's about you witnessing the event between the selfish caregiver and a child. I'm not sure how the food that you had to offer will play into the manifestation, though. I'm sure you'll recognize it.

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Re: Boundaries and Selfishness

Post by Daisy on Sun Apr 21, 2013 8:05 am

Thanks Mark!!! :hooray:


Ephesians 2:8,9 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.

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