Three Dreams

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Three Dreams

Post by TheWhiteShadow on Wed Aug 15, 2012 7:06 am

In the last dream, I remember seeing a receipt from an ATM that showed my balance in my checking account. It was much lower than I thought it should be which made me panic because I knew that I had just paid some bills that would be more than what I had. I looked at a different line on the receipt and it showed the balance in my savings account - it was much higher than I expected it to be. I felt relief as I knew that I just had to make a transaction from savings into checking to more than cover the bills.

In the middle dream, I was at work. I don't recall all the details of this one, but it felt like the day was wrapping up. I was in a location just off of the warehouse area cleaning up. I left this place and went into the warehouse. One of my coworkers entered from the far end of the warehouse along with another coworker. He was carrying something, and I knew what it was before I even saw it. When he revealed it, I still responded with a little enthusiasm/sarcasm. What he had was a cat that I've seen in my backyard at one time. It seemed that this cat was something that I wanted, but I didn't want to come across like I did because I wasn't sure how my coworkers would respond if they really knew that this was something I desired. If I showed indifference they might just hand over the cat. If I showed excitement, they might keep it for themselves just to deprive me of it.

In the first dream, I was driving to work. I was in the city where I work, and it had snowed - it was winter. In that city they usually plow the snow into the middle of the road and then haul it away in dump trucks later on. Well, there were all these piles of snow in the road. It was early in the day, and still somewhat dark out...which made it hard to see. Then, I noticed some child out in the road playing in the snow! I panicked, thinking that I was going to run him over! Thankfully, I did not. After driving a little ways past that child, I looked behind me and saw many children playing in the snow in the road. This seemed way too dangerous, and I couldn't turn a blind eye after what had just happened. So, I called the police. The police had an undercover car so that they could catch the kids doing what was wrong/unsafe. If they used a regular police car, they kids would see it and leave the road before it got too close. Anyways, I returned with the undercover police car, and the officer turned on his hidden lights when he got right up to the kids. They knew they were busted. The officer did most of the talking to them, and when he was finished I added my two cents, which the kids agreed with.

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Re: Three Dreams

Post by Grey Butterfly on Thu Aug 16, 2012 5:34 pm

Hi Mark,

The middle dream made me think back to Elsie.

When you asked for prayer for her you said there was more meaning to it than just on the surface... could it be that the cat in the dream is a marker for you, to point you to this "deeper" thing that Elsie meant to you?

perhaps this is the thing you are being deprived of in this dream??

Blessings to you :o)

Diane

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Re: Three Dreams

Post by TheWhiteShadow on Thu Aug 16, 2012 9:04 pm

Thanks, Diane. I haven't been able to consider much with these dreams after having them because of so many distractions this week. I appreciate what you've said.

When it came to asking for prayer for Elsie back then - the deeper issue to me was seeing God pull through for my situation. I don't have any reason to sugar-coat anything - I'm deeply wounded by what didn't happen in regards to her. Not at the loss of my cat, but the fact that I did all that I could (spiritually), all of which was obedience to what I understood from the Word, and yet it still ended the way that it did. That is the deeper issue, and it certainly does relate to this dream.

My attitude toward my coworkers is an illustration of how I've been in my relationship with God regarding desires of my heart. In the instance of this dream, the cat represents a future spouse...I'm 99% certain of that. I treat the issue the same way: I'm afraid that if I express this desire to God (which he already knows about, naturally), then I'll just be denied it, anyway. So, it's better/safer for me to take the stance of indifference - to this and to many other things. It safeguards against disappointment, which I'm still recovering from regarding the whole deal with Elsie.

So...yeah...I understand the theme of the dream, but it's really only showing me something that I already know about myself. But...what do I do about it?

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Re: Three Dreams

Post by Grey Butterfly on Sat Aug 18, 2012 4:30 am

Ohhh Mark, that's a hard one...

I think we've all been there. About a year and a half ago, I was shredded when a little girl I was praying for died anyway. It was so quick too... God knew that she had a tumour in her head, why didn't he give someone a heads up????? I really fell out with God... and all the explanations in the world didn't help.

later, I was feeling really really unsure of God, I was praying for a woman named Belinda who was having twins, one of them was not supposed to make it, he was like a "car wreck" and they were advised to abort him. I was also praying for Bradley, a 4 year old with leukemia.

So, one day, I got honest with God... I said that I couldn't handle it if these babies died, I said that if he let them die I didn't think I could do this [praying for the sick] anymore... I was not being smart or argumentative, I was being raw and vulnerable with my God... I know that he can heal, what I wanted to know was would he, would he for me?

That prayer was drowned in tears and I accidentally deleted it which I decided was a good thing in the end, he was the only one who ever needed to see it. After I prayed it... a few hours later, I realised that I could not stop praying, I realised that if these babies died or they didn't, God was still God and I had to be near him... I had to have him and I knew that even if he never answered another prayer for me I could not live without him... disappointment or brokenness or death would not change that, I am a woman sunk without him.

Those babies were born, they are both healthy and walking now. One was named Samuel and the other was named Joshua... very apt names... God hears and God saves.

Bradley has now been given 100% clearance from Cancer... he still has to go every 3 months for 6 years to be checked, but his parents were told to enjoy last Christmas with him because he would not be here this Christmas.

Why am I telling you this?

Because the only safe place is in his arms Mark, and it's only when we trust him and we hang out off the edge of a spiritual cliff with everything resting on his answer that we truly know he comes through.

I don't know why Indigo died... and I don't know why Elsie died. I know that God had the power to save them both.

I'm in the middle of the worst, most tangled mess I think I have ever been in right now... I know that God has the power to come through for me, and I deliberately breathe, deliberately speak praise, I still feel a knot in my stomach sometimes while this is playing out... but somewhere, not too far away from that knot is a confidence that he loves me and he knows, and he will come through for me.

Bless you Mark, I don't know if any of this will help, but I feel for you and will pray.

Diane

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Re: Three Dreams

Post by TheWhiteShadow on Sat Aug 18, 2012 4:54 am

Thank you, Diane. You are awesome. I am thankful that you took the time to share your experiences when it comes to the struggles we have with our own understanding of God's ways and plans. That's sort of where I am at this time - just going from day to day with the understanding that...I don't understand a lot of the time. I've been honest with Him in saying that I don't get it - the things that have happened and just what His plan is for me. I cannot see how things are going to end up. When I try to look years down the road, I can't see a thing, and it causes me to worry, doubt and get depressed. That ties into my placing trust in Him, which is a work in progress. That work being making a connection between what I understand in my mind about Him and what I know (or don't know) in my heart.

Anyways, thanks again. And thank you so much for your prayers. :)

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Re: Three Dreams

Post by Grey Butterfly on Sun Aug 19, 2012 6:19 pm

:o) you're welcome Mark... blessings to you.


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