my stepmother and murder

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my stepmother and murder

Post by L4JC on Sun Feb 26, 2012 9:32 am

Hi ya'll,

I'm really disturbed by this dream I had. Any thoughts would be appreciated!

In the dream, my stepmom and I were walking along this wide fancy antique hallway in a building or museum of some sort like we were heading towards a banquet hall. We were both dressed up pretty lavishly in long dresses. As we were walking towards the banquet hall, my stepmom was talking about all the "murders" she's heard lately, and she was telling me one by one what had happened to each of the murders. She was giving me details of the murders itself. I was pretty grossed out by the details she was giving me. (when I awoke, I couldn't remember the details anymore). Then I woke up.

I'm a little shocked by this dream ... any thoughts?

-Sunny


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Re: my stepmother and murder

Post by Deborah on Sun Feb 26, 2012 9:53 am

What strikes me about the dream is the contrast. On one hand you're in a beautiful setting, dressed to the nines, and then on the other hand, your stepmom is talking about hideous things in great detail. The Bible says we speak out of the abundance of our hearts--is such talk something you'd hear coming out of your stepmom's mouth in real life? Does she tend to be a very negative, glass half-empty sort of person?

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Re: my stepmother and murder

Post by Deborah on Sun Feb 26, 2012 9:58 am

Speaking of glasses half empty, somebody sent me this online and I thought it was funny:

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Re: my stepmother and murder

Post by L4JC on Sun Feb 26, 2012 10:44 am

Hi again, Deborah!

Thank you for your thoughts cuz you asked some good questions. As for my stepmom - does she talk like that? She never talks about murder... but she does talk negatively at times about the relatives in our family, and it always has bothered me greatly. And I'm always defending the relatives she speaks about. She always has great things to say about her own sons, but when it comes to me, she says good things about me to me directly, but I hear at times, she says negative things about me behind my back. And I always find it hurtful and in fact, it's one of the things that has always kept us from being "close". She married my dad when I was almost 3. We always got along great until my brothers were adopted and came into our family. Since then, she's always pretty much compared me to them. It has always strained our relationship. My dad always blamed me for the way our relationship was, and the thing is, I never ever told my dad anything about her and what she said about me behind my back, because I knew no matter what, he'll stick up for her because she is his wife. So, I always had to say, "I'm sorry" first with her ... always. And always say, "I love you" first. But I now am totally okay with that... cuz, I know the Lord sees all and He knows my heart and He knows what truly happened and was was said. So, I've never wanted to "trash" my stepmom to my dad.

My stepmom is always dressed up in the "nines" and she and my dad have a gorgeous home. So, this dream is similiar to how she is truly living.

Sorry that got long-winded... more than I was planning to!

But the odd thing is ... I haven't thought about her in weeks, and all the sudden I get this dream. It really puzzled me. And it alarmed me that she would talk about "murder" in such great detail. She's worked tirelessly for the church she helped create and build in her hometown. So, that's why I was really alarmed by the dream!

The picture you shared LOL - she's the realist! Always analyzing every detail to make certain things will be organized and properly done correctly to the "T". This part of her, I love about her. She does care enough to give her very best when she serves to her church and ministry.

-Sunny

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Re: my stepmother and murder

Post by Deborah on Sun Feb 26, 2012 11:12 am

Hi Sunny,
As I'm sure you already know, the Bible says if we hate someone we've already murdered them in our hearts. Perhaps your stepmom is struggling with hatred and this is why it showed up so graphically as (talk of) murder in your dream.

I'm sorry your stepmom has hurt you. Every child deserves a supportive mother who is as beautiful on the inside as on the outside. I know how a root of rejection can spring up when someone so close to us is always reminding us of our shortcomings. The only antecdote is the love of God. He knew what He was doing when He made you. You are not a mistake and not worth less than anybody else. It took the blood of Jesus Himself to redeem you and now you are a child of God, bought at a great price.

Your stepmom sounds to me like a perfectionist and one thing to remember about perfectionists is that they often struggle with accepting themselves because they have high (sometimes impossible) expectations of themselves. The Bible says we are to love our neighbors as ourselves, but if we don't love ourselves, then we are in trouble.
Okay, off my soapbox now.....

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Re: my stepmother and murder

Post by L4JC on Sun Feb 26, 2012 1:44 pm

You made valid points here for sure! (the relation to the murder and hate and what the Bible says)

Yanno, I am okay with my stepmom now ... I found peace several years ago in regards with her. The Lord healed my heart. So grateful for that! And now I see her in a different light, I no longer take her so called "questions" personally anymore. Whereas previously I would get angry easily over her so-called "subtle" questions. My anger definitely interferred how God wanted me to see her. And now when I see her, I have compassion and love for her. I yearn to pray for her and for her well-being and that the Lord will soften her heart to hear Him truly so that she can be truly at peace with God. I've noticed in the last two years or so, she's been extremely tired and hasn't been able to "keep" up with her "perfectionistic ways" as she usually has in the past. And I can tell she just wants to do good for the Lord, but I don't think she realizes that Jesus just wants us to "be with Him" talking and spending more time "loving" others than just "doing" things to serve. She's more like Martha and I'm more like Mary. Nothing wrong with being a Martha, but if it's keeping someone from "showing love" to another person, spending time sharing the Word of God with them... then, I think the person could be missing a great opportunity!

You're so right that people who are perfectionists tend to do these things out of insecurity. The Lord showed me that clearly a few years ago when I had my one on one talk with him about my stepmom. He told me to forgive her totally. And it was a hard thing to do, but I did. Every now and then, it'll creep up again temporarily... the hurts and all ... I have to tell the enemy, that it's all been forgiven and forgotten in God's eyes... that He must flee! ... whoohoo! ;)












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Re: my stepmother and murder

Post by Deborah on Sun Feb 26, 2012 2:12 pm

Good for you!!!! happy dance

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