Hi luv2worship! The name John means 'God is gracious'. Then there was John the baptist who was a forerunner for Jesus. Lastly John who wrote the gospel of John, always referred to himself as 'the disciple whom Jesus loved'. Is it possible that the Lord wants to birth a new revelation into you of a deeper knowledge of his love and grace, which would thrust you forth to be a forerunner for impacting lives for Jesus? Just some thoughts...please pray on them..not an interp...plz toss what doesn't fit.
Ephesians 2:8,9 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.
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