Husband should go away for good without problem or i die

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Husband should go away for good without problem or i die

Post by dreams3 on Tue Nov 29, 2011 11:56 am

I want you to put me in prayers. I have run out of prayer strenght and patience with my husband. Today I told him to leave the home or stop his aggressive and shouting behaviour and disrespectful outbursts to me and infront of the kids instead discuss and solve matters in a mature way. I know i love him but i cannt longer take it. moreso i heard he was or had affair some time ago which i dont believe. But right now i just want him to go away it is not healthy for me or the kids. i am tire of going over in circle same marriage issues again and again. If i take legal action he or and me is going to lose alot because the business he is run is in my name which i could not take part because he feels i am ignorant etc.His name is already in bankrupcy.

up til now after 3 months of saying we will go to a christian marriage counsellor we are yet to and i have been the one reminding him. He does not take it serious but say he is very busy or will it change any thing.

i told God to sent him away completely or let me just die. yes myhusband feels i am dependent on him i cannot make it alone with the kids. i want him to be the one to leave. i dont care if i die.

I do not blame God but myself for this marriage choice. this is 8 years i have been suffering.

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Re: Husband should go away for good without problem or i die

Post by Cloud on Tue Nov 29, 2011 2:47 pm

believing for God to do exactly what you want him to do


your husband does seem immature and wrong in his perception of things


praying God does whateve needs to, to correct wrong thinking


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Re: Husband should go away for good without problem or i die

Post by Daisy on Tue Nov 29, 2011 7:27 pm

I am so sorry for this struggle you are going through dreams3. I am praying for you and that this situation gets better. I want to encourage you to get some christian counseling with or without him. Either way, I feel that you will appreciate this support down the road. How involved are you in your local church? Do you feel that your church is equipt to at least counsel you, and support you emotionally in counseling on a weekly or bi-weekly basis? This may be a cost effective way to get some loving support to help you remain strong for the children. Please know that though things seem hopeless right now, that God is your stronghold in this time of trouble, no matter what your husband chooses to do or not to do. Please keep me posted on how things are progressing, and know that I am praying diligently for you sweetie. praying


Ephesians 2:8,9 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.

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Re: Husband should go away for good without problem or i die

Post by Dove-Solutions on Wed Nov 30, 2011 5:46 am

I am with you also in prayer. I am sorry to hear you are going through all this. Know that the Lord is with you and will strengthen you! He will do it through those who pray with you and love you! We are your family here and want nothing but the best for you and your family.

Love in Jesus,

Connie


~Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Himand He will direct your path.~ Proverbs 3:5-6

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Re: Husband should go away for good without problem or i die

Post by dreams3 on Wed Nov 30, 2011 6:57 am

my local pastors are aware of what is going on. But he has change this church again - he hates to submit just want to be in limelight of ministry. I have gone for counselling but no one is going to tell you to leave or stay. this is my decision to make. i have tried all this years to bear and pray but is too much for the kids now that they are getting older. i know most single parents kids have problem because of separation/divorce but also the so called marriage just like mine. And my hsuband has being hammering/threatening if i leave or him the kids will turn out pscho or emotional victims in live or how will i make it alone. I am just praying for my kids because they dont deserve the situation i am in.

i will keep you posted. Pls just pray for me continuous

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Re: Husband should go away for good without problem or i die

Post by dreams3 on Wed Nov 30, 2011 2:03 pm

update. My husband called me to apologise for his behaviour and also to tell me he has contact the marriage cousellor to fix a date.

pls still pray that his eyes will be open not just to apologise and continue because i would tolerate it again. I told him he owe the kids apology too.

thanks for the prayers.

thanks all. i will still keep you posted.

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Re: Husband should go away for good without problem or i die

Post by Cholette on Wed Nov 30, 2011 3:07 pm

dreams3 wrote:i know most single parents kids have problem because of separation/divorce but also the so called marriage just like mine.

This is an UNTRUE statement...I just wanted you to know that in hopes that you change your perspective regarding this because WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE. If you decide to leave, God will take care of your children. I want you to know that I've been a single parent my son's entire 21 years on this earth. His father was murdered when he was 4 years old however, even before then, he didn't know him or have a relationship with him. I put him in the hands of God when he was a young boy and God has been faithful. He's a junior in college and living on his own in Arizona and working. I'm not saying that he doesn't NEED a father, because He does, but God has made up the difference.

I have two other friends who have children and they made it through divorce...MESSY divorces. Their children are in college and doing very well. As parents, we MUST pray the Word over our children. My favorite scripture to pray over my son is...

And all your [spiritual] children shall be disciples [taught by the Lord and obedient to His will], and great shall be the peace and undisturbed composure of your children (Isaiah 54:13 AMP)

This is my daily prayer over my son and God has been faithful. I will definately be in prayer for you because I know it cannot be easy. This is the time for you to climb in the lap of your Heavenly Father and let HIM minister to you. I agree that you should seek out help, even apart from your husband, but even more than that...Let GOD minister to you.

The scripture I hear for you right now is:

"...be wise as serpents and harmless as doves." (Matthew 10:16)

Not sure what the scripture means to you, but pray because God just spoke it to my heart right now.

Praying for you and looking forward to some praise reports from you. No weapon formed against you will prosper!!!!



Do not fight FOR victory, but fight FROM THE PLACE of victory. Jesus has ALREADY won the battle!

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Re: Husband should go away for good without problem or i die

Post by Cholette on Wed Nov 30, 2011 3:16 pm

By the way...you will NOT die and I curse the voices of suicide, death and despair from around you. You WILL LIVE and declare the Word/Works of the Lord. Not situation is worth you dying over and leaving your children behind. You are much stronger than you think...rise up my friend...this is just a test...God will give you double for ALL your trouble!!



Do not fight FOR victory, but fight FROM THE PLACE of victory. Jesus has ALREADY won the battle!

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Re: Husband should go away for good without problem or i die

Post by Dove-Solutions on Wed Nov 30, 2011 5:00 pm

Amen Cholette! I agree!


~Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Himand He will direct your path.~ Proverbs 3:5-6

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Re: Husband should go away for good without problem or i die

Post by Daisy on Wed Nov 30, 2011 5:24 pm

Thanks for the update...will continue to pray for you... praying


Ephesians 2:8,9 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.

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Re: Husband should go away for good without problem or i die

Post by Daisy on Wed Nov 30, 2011 5:24 pm

Amen Cholette!!! :hooray:


Ephesians 2:8,9 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.

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Re: Husband should go away for good without problem or i die

Post by dreams3 on Sat Dec 17, 2011 2:08 pm

thank you cholette and the rest of your brethren. I am getting strong and i will still keep you guys posted. I am still waiting for the couseling appointment in January. I am also taking heed to your word on be wise, Cholette...i need wisdom in almost every area right now: stressful parttime job, kids care, trying to learn a new language for better career, what career to do etc. anyway may be God is refering to one in particular...i dont know..still praying.

Thanks once again.

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Re: Husband should go away for good without problem or i die

Post by Daisy on Sun Dec 18, 2011 5:30 pm

Continuing to pray... praying


Ephesians 2:8,9 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.

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Re: Husband should go away for good without problem or i die

Post by dreams3 on Sun Jan 29, 2012 2:15 am

this is a followup:

Could you believe that the day after we returned from the paid christian marriage counseling we went to(this will be continual but we have to drive out to a border country...someone recommended the christian couple to my husband ), we got into a heat argument(normally i will cowered down for fear of out of control angry display) which he twisted my hand and spat on me twice fully on the face. To cut it short i have forgiven him for that..but tomorow i will be meeting with my pastors with him that he agreed to go for a soul counselling and marriage couselling at MY CHURCH or it is over( he is not aware i went to hospital to document the assault as i was advised,I shall show him this at meeting).
After 8 years of hiding this problem from my parents, I had to tell them. but u know they were angry but my parents- mom and sister say i should be aware of our history of divorced in family and makesure i break this cycle so i should not destroy my marriage! They dont care what i am going through going but keep the marriage.

Now i donot know what to do.my family are against me too. I know about my family history but years before and after i got married i have been praying about it, done personal deliverance and family deliverance and still praying. But what can i do now if God dont help? I need help and advice...if my husband does not agreed to the couselling thing as above tomorow, then he has to leave us. In the past even as were going to d couseling he ...on the way he complaints about fuel, time wasting as if he is doing me a favour... i am the one that need the couseling.

If not because of pastors advice to give him this last chance, i would have already gone direct to the Civil court and abuse women office to end the marriage. But will he change, i know him, he has tried to manipulate me over the few years/months to make me feel guilty or the one at fault. I know him... i am not wasting my time about this soul counseling and marriage counseling chance. A pastor say may be this will b d time he will finallly know God and realise himself. i have hope and pray for this over the years...let God do his will. I listen to this advice not to act harshly.

Friends pray for me. And for tomorrow meeting. i did not go to church today because i feel low i know i should but i decide to type this. Is this conditions enough or what else should i demand of him ?

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Re: Husband should go away for good without problem or i die

Post by dreams3 on Sun Jan 29, 2012 2:56 am

I forget to add,

i need advice and prayer about this too. is about my Mom-in-law.

it has been a silent family rountine we have to eat lunch at her place every sundays except when she is not around. I dont have anything against this..it help me not to cook after church service. And she always tells me that i am like her own daughter.. Really she has been nice in terms of financial support etc But then from my husband in talks he has told me in front of my pastors and subsequently the mom say what is your wife doing the whole day that she can not fix this buttons on your jacket coats or shirt or notice this coat needs cleaning. i felt insulted how could she do that behind me...if i am her daughter as she said and knowing fully well her sons character(she is aware of the marriage problem and of course apologised for his treatment to me and that she spoiled him). this is the first time i have anything against her. I always look at her as my mom even better than my mom. Of recent she only thinks of our kids fate if i go that the social will take them away because i will be working 100percent or my husband will easy get a woman and then i am without one. comments like this hurts me i told her.
I dont expect such from her...if she is my mom. And now, what am i doing the whole day in the house? is what her son his telling me and in public. And that i am listen to bad friends.

so for some sundays coupled with the recent assualt i have boyscotted the sundays meals.


what i should do...i use to regard so high. but i feel betrayed.

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Re: Husband should go away for good without problem or i die

Post by Dove-Solutions on Sun Jan 29, 2012 7:03 am

Dream3,

I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I am very saddened to hear that he is not willing to take things seriously enough to get counseling. God will give you the strength to deal with all of this. He is the God who restores and he is the God who can do all things and all things are possible with him.

Love in Jesus,



~Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Himand He will direct your path.~ Proverbs 3:5-6

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Re: Husband should go away for good without problem or i die

Post by Daisy on Sun Jan 29, 2012 8:27 am

Dreams3~I am so sorry that you are going through this. I know it must be so hard! I watched my mom live in an abusive marriage for more than 10 years. This man broke bones in my moms body, beat her down physically on a daily basis, and used fear tactics to make her feel that she couldn't survive without him. You would think the physical and emotional abuse would be enough to make her leave, but it took catching this man cheating on her to be the final straw that broke the camels back. She did have to work quite a bit at the beginning, but God was faithful to her...getting her on her feet so much quicker than anticipated. He has blessed her with a job that doesn't require hard labor now, she makes super good money, has her house and car paid off!! God is her provider!! This is an amazing testimony considering she dropped out of school before even finishing 9th grade!! I say all this because though it was a very hard season at the beginning for all of us, she showed us by her example that it was NOT OK to live the way she was before she left him. I believe that my mom broke the cycle of abuse for our family. Because of her example, us kids knew to stay away from unhealthy relationships. We watched her struggle to have and keep her freedom. My mom had a really bad upbrininging and her abusive husbands mom also was more of a mom to her than her own. It was really hard on her, but her decision to leave did effect this relationship. Of course her mother in law still loved her (and didnt agree how her son was treating her). At the end of the day she just had to side with her own son (which is so sad). Unfortunately, this kind of goes this the territory most of the time in divorce situations. I'm sorry your own family is not being supportive of your decisions right now, and is more concerned about the stigma that will be left on the family, rather than the damage that is being done by the cycle that abuse could do to you and your kids. My personal opinion is that your heart and spirit living in these circumstances is much more important to God than the stigma that divorce may leave on a family (along with your kids' hearts/spirits). I personally believe that God does not want anyone to live in an abusive environment. At the same time, I believe God can turn any situation around if the participants are willing. I pray that God will give you clear direction and leading by Him, as to what are the right decisions to make in your personal situation. I pray that your husband will decide that he is willing to let God change him. I pray this for your sake, but also for your childrens' sake (because trust me, they are watching). I share my personal experiences to hopefully encourage you. If you do decide to leave, it most likely wont be easy at first, but God will be with you. No matter what you decide to do, I will be lifting you up in prayer. I pray for Gods strength to be with you in every situation that heads your way in this process. Every situation is unique, and I am not by any means saying my situation was exactly like yours. Please pray on what I have said, and wait on the Lord to see what He desires for you. Please toss anything that your spirit does not bear witness to.


Ephesians 2:8,9 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.

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Re: Husband should go away for good without problem or i die

Post by dreams3 on Sun Jan 29, 2012 8:36 am

thanks for the encouragements and prayers. i will keep you informed

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Re: Husband should go away for good without problem or i die

Post by Daisy on Sun Jan 29, 2012 9:13 am

Anytime! Please do keep me informed!!


Ephesians 2:8,9 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.

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Re: Husband should go away for good without problem or i die

Post by dreams3 on Thu Feb 02, 2012 1:33 pm

He did not accept rather was justifying his assault actions. Also rejected my conditions that he we have already gone to marriage counselling and he had done soul counselling also. And went further degrading me in front of my pastors. Anyway my pastor want to see both of us separately because for the simple question i laid out, my husband too almost 2hrs talking angrily this or that reason that i want to end the marriage that i am stupid and that i am attracting curses that i will only see tears when i leave.. kids will turn worst.. etc. Inshort he was quotiing bible and people examples to back his reason... and why i did not attend the new church...i am splitting the family etc. Anyway please pray for me...i have decide to leave(after the meeting i told my pastor my decisions. i am in a mixed feeling mood. I need prayers to help me through...i dont know if i doing wrong or right thing for me and the kids..but i know i cant stay with my husband. But i ask God if he is behind me to leave or stay i need to know through his speaking and confirmations etc. i know some women have waited and the husband change. But my faith has dwindle for the past years in this aspect.

Anyway i have few days to leave. my husband is unaware of this.

i dont want to make the wrong move in life... i am waiting for God ..just few days till i go.


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Re: Husband should go away for good without problem or i die

Post by dreams3 on Sun Feb 12, 2012 6:34 am

i have finally left. Pls i need prayers for me and my kids. we are in a abused women home right now . thanks you for your prayers and advices.

specifically, favour to get settle down and new apartments, school change, favour for my job(right now i have to stop my 6am job because of my kids school) that i can change to another shift(this would be the second time, d 1st was becos of my husband) and that every evil counsel my husband wants to carry out will fail. he threatened to go to the police that i kidnapped the kids and that i am unstable and very bad mother too...when he found out that i have left.

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Re: Husband should go away for good without problem or i die

Post by Dove-Solutions on Sun Feb 12, 2012 8:42 am

Dream3,

Please know that the Lord is there with you right now and he knows your need and will help you through every single situation you go through. Put your confidence in Him and your trust in Him to guide you through it all. I have so been where you are right now and remember that all things are possible with God!

I will be praying with you for all things and I am here if you need to talk. Feel free to PM me anytime.

Love in Jesus,

Connie


~Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Himand He will direct your path.~ Proverbs 3:5-6

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Re: Husband should go away for good without problem or i die

Post by Daisy on Sun Feb 12, 2012 4:22 pm

I am praying and believing for Gods protection, favor, and provision to be continually upon you dreams3! I also pray that He will be so faithful to you, putting the right people in place at the right time, to be a blessing to you and your children's needs right now. I feel strongly to encourage you NOT TO feel guilty receiving help from those God puts into your path in this time. Sometimes its hard to be in a position of a receiver, but it is Gods desire to bless and give to you! There will come a time where you will be able to pour back into someone's life in this same situation. I believe God is going to show you His faithfulness, and will bless you with good people to come into your life during this tough time. I believe the right doors of opportunities are going to open up for you with work too!! I pray for this transition to go as smoothly and peaceable as possible!! Please keep us updated with how you are doing continually, so that we can continue to pray for you sweetheart!! I am so proud of you, and your brave decision to step out in faith and trust God!! I just know He will not let you down in the end! praying Bless You


Ephesians 2:8,9 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.

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Re: Husband should go away for good without problem or i die

Post by dreams3 on Sun Mar 11, 2012 12:47 am

thank you all for your support and prayers. I am doing well in the social house we are. Just that i some times feel sad, disappointed, betrayed and no future direction. But all the same i feel inside of me i took the right step out away from my husband.

oNLY I want your prayer support..i dont have any idea what i would love to do as career to support me and the kids in future ..eg some pple wants to be nurse, social worker etc...for me i dont have no direction/desire. Even thought i once graduate in the university and worked as secretary(i never like it or enjoyed it .. i had poor english foundation with lot of headache..so i have complex there)....now i am like what do i want to do God? i want something i will love not go in jsut for the money even though i need it.

Secondly pls pray that my husband will not cause financial problem for me with the business in my name...our official court date of separation is next month. let everything go well in peace. i want to leave in peace and with no debt.


thirdly.. the social welfare asked me to look for accomodation. And getting accomodation here is so so expensive(social help have a set range to help but is little) and i dont want to change the kids school the 3rd time again( we had just changed them because of my separation). i need a miraculous peaceful and good accomodation close to my kids school. am i asking too much? i need a miracle only God can do this! if not it is going to be stressful for me and the kids if it is far away and also out of town. i am not mobile.


4. since yesterday i have been looking for my kid nintedo large ds...a birthday gift from the dad... and unable to find it. She left it in the social kids playroom. my kids happen to be the only big kids in this home except a 2yr old. we are not many living here. so who did away with it? My kid is so sad and angry ..I too...that i prayed bad for that person. Is so unfair. i have told the head of the home. I need that nintedo returned. I know this is easy for God.


i want to stop my cleaning job so tht i can take care of my kids but afraid to do so..is not easy to get a job as a foreigner. i work in the evenings to 8pm. so it difficult for me and my kids now tht i am alone. i need a job within their school time...most cleaning jobs are so early or evenings or midnights. Though social welfare will support me since my kids are still very young...but securing a job after is something else here. i am thinking of continuing my language course and go more school until my kids are grown. Just like i said above, i dont have a clue what i want to do or should do.

Thanks once again.

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Re: Husband should go away for good without problem or i die

Post by Deborah on Sun Mar 11, 2012 9:06 pm

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13.
This is your answer, Dreams3. I know it seems so simplified, but God's plans for you will give you a future and a hope! His Word says it! You may not have a clue what you should do, but God does!

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