Avoiding a Trip With My Dad

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Avoiding a Trip With My Dad

Post by TheWhiteShadow on Sat Oct 15, 2011 6:47 am

Hello, All -

I had this dream last night, and the whole thing was full of negative emotion.

I was waiting at my mother's house for my father to arrive to pick me up. I had agreed to travel with him to visit his home in Florida (I live in Wisconsin). I don't know how it happened, but I had agreed at some point to take part in this trip. I had absolutely ZERO desire to do this. I imagined what it would be like to be stuck in the car with him for such a long drive. There were quick scenes where I was in different parts of my mother's house, and in each one I was trying to think of excuses not to go. In the end, I couldn't come up with an acceptable excuse, and I felt bound by my word to go through with it.

My dad arrived at the house and was waiting in the driveway. There were other people in the yard that I did not know, but they were not with him - like they were having a picnic or something and he showed up while it was going on. I kept thinking that he was going to do something crazy - in fact, I think he did something to someone's car, but it could be that no one saw him do it.

The final scene is where I am in his car heading down the road that my mother's house is on. He's driving. My sister is in the front seat. I'm in the back. My aunt (his sister) is sitting to my left. When I looked at my aunt, I see that it's her face on a dog's body. (?) Having my aunt and sister with me only made my negative emotion slightly better.

That's it for the dream. Please pray about this one - the symbolism of my dad is a bit sensitive. To share a bit of personal info, he really does live in Florida with an older woman who he has tricked into marriage for her money. I have only spoken to him online, and have not seen him in at least 10 years. He is very intelligent, but is...crazy. I have no desire to have a relationship with him, but I am polite when I have to speak with him.

I also can't think of anything going on in real life with these emotions. I've got nothing coming up where I don't want to go through with something I agreed to.

Thank you for any insight,
-Mark

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Re: Avoiding a Trip With My Dad

Post by Daisy on Sat Nov 12, 2011 6:40 pm

Hi Mark, I know you said that you have nothing coming up where you don't want to go through with something you have agreed to. Here is a different twist of a question. Ok, is there anything that you are hesitant TO actually agree to (or commit to) in your waking life? Just my thoughts...If it doesn't fit, plz just toss it...


Ephesians 2:8,9 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.

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Re: Avoiding a Trip With My Dad

Post by TheWhiteShadow on Sat Nov 12, 2011 6:52 pm

You know, if I'm truly honest with myself, it's probably about the degree of intimacy with my Heavenly Father. I'm holding back in many ways. As poor of a representation of father my earthly father is, I'm using that as a lense though which I see God.

You're right about hesitation to commit. Not that I'm not commited to God, by any means! But, there's areas where I need to surrender and be vulnerable...you know, that sort of stuff.

I actually wondered about last night's dream, but I see it's meaning a bit more, now. I won't go into the details, but the basics were this: I'm walking down this marble hallway, approaching a bathroom. My steps are loud, and they echo down the hall. My real-life stepfather is on the other side of the closed door to the bathroom...I heard the water running of him using the shower. I try to walk more quietly as I approach the room, but he hears me and calls out, "What do you need, Mark?" I quickly answer, "Nothing!" and run back out from where I came.

It's all about approaching my Heavenly Father. I'm not bold about it. I'm afraid to answer his question with sincerity. You know, all independent and self-reliant.

So, long-story-short...yeah, you're right. I've got some commitment issues. :(

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Re: Avoiding a Trip With My Dad

Post by Daisy on Sat Nov 12, 2011 7:40 pm

What an awesome post and revelation! I can tell you from experience as a mother, my daughter acts independent and self-reliant so often (we adopted her when she was 2). Its painful, because I SO want to be close to her, but I feel at times she pushes me away. She had a rough start in life, but we are wanting so much to give her the BEST life possible. This aching I know the father has for all of His children, to be closer to us and to give us the BEST life possible...but all of us are guilty of pushing him away. This really makes me look at my own relationship with Him, and how I can take the time to draw closer to Him! Thank you for sharing your experiences with us!


Ephesians 2:8,9 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.

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