Spiritual Abuse or am I missing something?? Please help!!

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Spiritual Abuse or am I missing something?? Please help!!

Post by soulcry7 on Fri May 27, 2011 2:29 pm

My husband, me, and my 5 kids have been going to this church for almost 2 years now. We are not new to the charismatic church by any means. So, we are used to walking in spiritual gifts, 5 fold ministry, etc. This church has awesome worship and good messages yet something doesn't seem right. It was very hard for me to put my finger on it for the longest time. When we started going there, my husband and I were having marital issues so they wanted us to do individual counceling and we did that. During these sessions there was a book that we had to go through. It was on "covering" and basically said that the pastor was our covering and that we were to submit to his authority without question and if we "thought" we didnt agree with something that it was our own reasoning and that no one else in the church was equipped to discern it and that it wasnt up to anyone else but God to discern those things. I questioned this many times and tried to reject the teaching and I was told that I was unteachable. My kids were starting to go to the youth group meetings regularly. One night we had friends coming from out of town to see us and so we didnt go to youth group. I was called into a meeting and told that i wasnt being submitted to the leadership because the kids werent there and that they should never miss. I rejected that. Since then I have learned to go along with them because if i dont then i will be met with the same things, im not submitted,or im not teachable. Its been easier to just go along. Well, about 3 weeks ago, I kept the kids home on youth group night and again was chastised during my next meeting. I tried to explain myself and got kind of emotional and one of the ladies told me that i needed to stop it and that i was operating in a spirit of schizophrenia. WHAT?? What does that even mean?? They also made me pray in front of them and repent because i didnt bring the kids.Anyway, I dont want to go to these meetings anymore because anytime I dont agree with whats said, I cannot express it or I will be told I'm unteachable. I have also confided in one lady pastor before about how I so desperately wanted real intimacy with my husband and she told me that I was offended and needed to repent...I was sooo confused! My husband has said that he sees more than I think he does and to be patient. I dont know what that means exactly but thats what Im doing. I have been told directly that we are to obey and submit to leadership no matter what, unconditionally, and if we dont then we arent in obedience with God. I dread going to church and am afraid to miss for the first time in my life. We dont make a habit of missing regularly by any means but the kids are at church 5 days out of the week and it seems like overload to me. I just want the truth and God's will for our lives. Please tell me if I am wrong. My hearts cry is to do whats right before God but I dont know if they are right and I am wrong. Thanks so much for your help.

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Always Be Faithful, TO HIM

Post by mama-lisa on Fri May 27, 2011 9:08 pm

[b]Hello Dear Sister, I pray you are doing well today by the Grace of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, I will keep you in prayer, I went to a church Like this for 9 years, Under the leadership of an Apostle, I cannot say everything they Teach is right or biblical, but I can say, the Lord does have you there for a reason, I know he does not want us to be sad, or to fear in anyway, and I know that controling spirits can take over in alot of churches now, so Just keep prayiing and seeking the lord sister, I can tell you my story somewhat, I think Yours is alot worse, I was under a Apostle for 9 years, and I had to do work, or to serve in the church , I did not mind, bc I knew the Lord was with me, they were times I ddnt understand at all why i was there, and I Pray that through all of This the Lord can refine you into what he has created you to be, The lord tells us . We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. I beleive the lord does have you there for a reason, Pray and ask the Lord to reveal these things to you sister. I know when i was in the church i was in, The lord would show me things, that were wrong, at the time, i didnt know what to do with that information, but I kept quiet, and waited on the lord. finally after 9 years he did release me, and I didnt go back anymore, Now i am ministering when i can and the Lord has shown me so much during these times. I know We have the Power over the enemy and No weapon formed against us shall prosper, I feel the Lord is preparing you for Ministry . Praise his Holy Name, Just stand still and see the Salvation of the Lord, I will keep you in prayer and Your family , I know the Lord will never leave you nor forsake you, Love in christ mama-lisa

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Re: Spiritual Abuse or am I missing something?? Please help!!

Post by soulcry7 on Sat May 28, 2011 8:00 am

Thank you mama-lisa. I felt something twinge in me when i read that God is preparing me for ministry. I have had a prophet tell me and my husband that we will minister to the youth and couples as well. I had another pastor and a dear friend of mine from years ago tell me that its not a good place to be. But I have had this inner feeling that we do have some purpose there, I guess I just needed some confirmation. I still am not sure if I should keep going to the meetings. I don't want to but again, I am in fear of what will happen if I dont go. Thank you for your prayers!

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Re: Spiritual Abuse or am I missing something?? Please help!!

Post by Dove-Solutions on Sat May 28, 2011 11:50 am

Soulcry7,

This is a time when it is critical to listen to the Holy Spirit. Ask the Lord to show you what he wants you to do in this situation. Are you being called to stand in intercession for this church....are you there to learn from this church things that are not correct. But I would take the time to search it out and like the other person posted.....stand still and wait on the Lords response. Sometimes when we feel something in the spirit isn't right the Lord is telling us to learn something from that situation. I will be praying in agreement with you. All the best to you and your family. One thing I would like to add: We are to follow and respect those in authority over us as long as it lines up with the word of God and the will of God. When it becomes all about what they say and there is no room to question that doctrine, they are not in line with the word or the will of God. Take that before the Lord and ask him what he wants you to do about that.

Love in Jesus,

Connie


~Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Himand He will direct your path.~ Proverbs 3:5-6

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Re: Spiritual Abuse or am I missing something?? Please help!!

Post by soulcry7 on Sun May 29, 2011 9:38 am

Thanks ladies! I do know that the Lord does things in ways that we cant always understand. In my mind, it makes no sense for us to be there, but I do think He may have us there for a reason..I just don't know what yet. I know that my comfort is not as important as my growth and learning and understanding. As my husband has said to me, I will be patient and wait on the Lord..I am trusting that if He put us there, it is not in vain and that something good will come of it.
Thanks so much!
I do have a dream that I need interpreted and I think it may have something to do with all this, im not sure. If either of you wouldnt mind taking a look at it in the interpretation posts I would appreciate it. I have not gotten a reply from anyone yet.

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Re: Spiritual Abuse or am I missing something?? Please help!!

Post by mjtorrence on Tue May 31, 2011 4:44 pm

Hi Soulcry so sorry that you have to endure this harsh treatment as I know first hand because we are in a church similar like this and right now I am trying to find a way out, my husband has no joy when he attends here, I will keep you lifted in prayer i\\'m sorry

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Re: Spiritual Abuse or am I missing something?? Please help!!

Post by soulcry7 on Tue May 31, 2011 8:19 pm

Thanks so much mjtorrence! I will keep you in prayer as well. If you ever want to talk please message me. I would love to hear your story as well.
big hug 2

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Re: Spiritual Abuse or am I missing something?? Please help!!

Post by Cholette on Tue May 31, 2011 9:44 pm

Okay, I'm going to be BLUNT about this. Yes, I agree, you should pray, but serving God does NOT hurt. God doesn't have to teach you anything through pain and discomfort! God's way is peace and love. When you read 1 Corinthians 13, THAT is the characteristics of the Lord and anything outside of that is not of Him. Jesus went through the pain so that we could walk in victory. Yes, we learn and grow and sometimes there are growing pains, but that is only because we try to go against the grain at times and it produces friction.

I too have been in a church like that, but mine was for much longer. I was in a church for 20 years, but I didn't know any better because I entered that church as a babe and thought it was the only way to go. As I learned about God and developed a more intimate relationship with the Lord, I found out that there were some things that I was allowing in my life that didn't need to be. God would never have you stay in an abusive marital relationship so why would he want you in an abusive church? It doesn't make sense.

We are ALL called to pray and yes, may want to have you pray for this church, but you don't have to sit in the midst of it and experience the verbal abuse and the labeling that these people are putting on you. God doesn't call you "schizophrenic"...He calls you Blessed...the Apple of His eye...His beloved...Holy...Accepted...His child...His bride. Anything else is WRONG and should NOT be tolerated.

I'm currently in a church that wants me to be there all of the time because I'm in leadership, but I create my own balance in my life. No one makes me do anything that God isn't leading me to do. Yes, we are to honor and submit to our leadership, but we submit to GOD first and we do as HE SAYS first. When we do that, it will be easy to discern whether natural leadership is in line.

Your children are at stake here. I have a 20 year old son who was in church from the time he was 8 months old. Over the years he experienced what I experienced and now he won't step foot in a church. You dont' want your children to get the wrong interpretation of what it is to go to the House of the Lord to worship their Heavenly Father. This is obvious spiritual abuse!! You dont' have to put up with it. The longer you wait, the harder it will be for you to leave. You should LOVE to go to church. Like Psalm says "I was GLAD when they said to me, let us go into the House of the Lord". Anything outside of that is torture.

Praying for you...


Do not fight FOR victory, but fight FROM THE PLACE of victory. Jesus has ALREADY won the battle!

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Re: Spiritual Abuse or am I missing something?? Please help!!

Post by Deborah on Tue May 31, 2011 11:35 pm

I very, very much agree with Cholette! I was in a church that spiritually abused its flock. One day I sat in the congregation and I looked at each family. In EVERY family, the children rebelled and did NOT return to church once they were out from their parent's thumb. I did not want this for my son; I'm so glad my family felt released from that torture. Thirteen years later I am still recovering from the legalistic abusive spirit I encountered at that so-called church.

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Re: Spiritual Abuse or am I missing something?? Please help!!

Post by mjtorrence on Fri Jun 17, 2011 8:26 am

yes this is very true Cholette I stayed in a abusive marriage for 20 yrs and like you stated why stay in a abusive church I am so thankful to God for we have finally left, and have found another church that is not a word of faith or charismatic church, I know what it is like to have your children leave church and not ever want to return it has happened to me, yet I thank God that my daughter did leave and go to another church yet my sons even went to the point of saying they dont believe in God this really saddneds my heart that I continued to stay in this kind of church sigh

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Re: Spiritual Abuse or am I missing something?? Please help!!

Post by Cholette on Fri Jun 17, 2011 9:44 am

I didn't even know you had childen MJ...

Yes, my son says he doesn't believe in God, as well, but I know differently. I hold on to the Word that says that when I train him up in the way he should go, when he gets old, he will NOT depart from it.

We have to hold on to the Word concerning our children, because the devil desires to have them.

Congrats to you and your family for leaving bondage and stepping into FREEDOM!!


Do not fight FOR victory, but fight FROM THE PLACE of victory. Jesus has ALREADY won the battle!

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Re: Spiritual Abuse or am I missing something?? Please help!!

Post by mjtorrence on Fri Jun 17, 2011 12:55 pm

Oh yes I have three children two boys and one girl and then I adopted my three nieces, Yes I only have the word to hold too regarding my two boys who are in the world as of now but I know God will prevail and they will be back in the house of the Lord happy dance Thank you so much I actually feel a little better being away from that place but it makes my heart sad that this woman is trying to speak curses and lies but I know the devil is a liar and no weapon formed against me and my family shall prosper

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Re: Spiritual Abuse or am I missing something?? Please help!!

Post by daphanie02 on Sat Jun 18, 2011 9:33 pm

Cholette wrote:Okay, I'm going to be BLUNT about this. Yes, I agree, you should pray, but serving God does NOT hurt. God doesn't have to teach you anything through pain and discomfort! God's way is peace and love. When you read 1 Corinthians 13, THAT is the characteristics of the Lord and anything outside of that is not of Him. Jesus went through the pain so that we could walk in victory. Yes, we learn and grow and sometimes there are growing pains, but that is only because we try to go against the grain at times and it produces friction.

I too have been in a church like that, but mine was for much longer. I was in a church for 20 years, but I didn't know any better because I entered that church as a babe and thought it was the only way to go. As I learned about God and developed a more intimate relationship with the Lord, I found out that there were some things that I was allowing in my life that didn't need to be. God would never have you stay in an abusive marital relationship so why would he want you in an abusive church? It doesn't make sense.

We are ALL called to pray and yes, may want to have you pray for this church, but you don't have to sit in the midst of it and experience the verbal abuse and the labeling that these people are putting on you. God doesn't call you "schizophrenic"...He calls you Blessed...the Apple of His eye...His beloved...Holy...Accepted...His child...His bride. Anything else is WRONG and should NOT be tolerated.

I'm currently in a church that wants me to be there all of the time because I'm in leadership, but I create my own balance in my life. No one makes me do anything that God isn't leading me to do. Yes, we are to honor and submit to our leadership, but we submit to GOD first and we do as HE SAYS first. When we do that, it will be easy to discern whether natural leadership is in line.

Your children are at stake here. I have a 20 year old son who was in church from the time he was 8 months old. Over the years he experienced what I experienced and now he won't step foot in a church. You dont' want your children to get the wrong interpretation of what it is to go to the House of the Lord to worship their Heavenly Father. This is obvious spiritual abuse!! You dont' have to put up with it. The longer you wait, the harder it will be for you to leave. You should LOVE to go to church. Like Psalm says "I was GLAD when they said to me, let us go into the House of the Lord". Anything outside of that is torture.

Praying for you...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Laura Boaz (aka Daph)


 


 


A WOMAN'S HEART SHOULD BE SO LOST IN GOD THAT A MAN MUST SEEK HIM FIRST IN ORDER TO FIND HER

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Re: Spiritual Abuse or am I missing something?? Please help!!

Post by daphanie02 on Sat Jun 18, 2011 9:35 pm

mjtorrence wrote:Oh yes I have three children two boys and one girl and then I adopted my three nieces, Yes I only have the word to hold too regarding my two boys who are in the world as of now but I know God will prevail and they will be back in the house of the Lord happy dance Thank you so much I actually feel a little better being away from that place but it makes my heart sad that this woman is trying to speak curses and lies but I know the devil is a liar and no weapon formed against me and my family shall prosper
Oh MJ I just love you!!! LOL!! huggins


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Re: Spiritual Abuse or am I missing something?? Please help!!

Post by mjtorrence on Sat Jun 18, 2011 9:37 pm

Love you too Daphanie huggins

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Re: Spiritual Abuse or am I missing something?? Please help!!

Post by daphanie02 on Sat Jun 18, 2011 9:42 pm

If you are genuinely seeking the Lord...and you are Spirit-filled and Spirit led, and something seems "off" then it probably is. I'm going to be blunt as well...mentalities like this raise red flags in my brain that make me think the word "cult". Like Cholette said, serving God shouldn't hurt. When you are attending church, it should be a joy...not a heavy burden. We go to church and lay our burdens down before the Lord..not to pick more up! I've gone to churches that I didnt feel things were right..and my husband didn't see...You kind of feel trapped then because you KNOW you're supposed to submit to your husband as a spiritual leader. Well I just prayed our family out of that situation! If your husband says he sees more than you know..then he probably feels it too..i suggest not bugging him or saying more to him about it unless prompted by the Lord. Continue praying that the Lord shows him what you feel. The Lord is faithful and I praise Him for seeing you through this difficult time!


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