Forgiveness issues

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Forgiveness issues

Post by BelovedoftheLord on Fri May 20, 2011 4:01 am

Hi everyone, just need help working through forgiveness. My husband did something really major, that hurt me so much. By the grace of God, i made up my mind to forgive him althou he did not so much as even acknowledge that he did anything wrong. I told God that im forgiving him and letting go of my right to hold on to the pain. What i need help with is how do i walk this out. Its been a week now but im still l wrestling with dark and angry thoughts literally every moment. Also, i have just bn basically ignoring him mainly coz i hv nothing civil to say to him - which to me is better than ranting and raving at him (which im not brave ebough to do anyway).

Im looking for honest and biblical based opinions. I have justifified my ignoring him by telling myself that i need space and time to recover or heal - with God s grace (- have bn praying a lot in the spirit and just worshiping when i can which does bring some relief.)When someone lets you down in such a way that you lose even respect for them how do you deal with that. When you forgive someone is it fine to still not talk to them especially when im working thru getting over this or is that deception on my part - in that case, have i really forgiven? Because you live with the person, it makes it even harder because he is so much a part of your life. I hope it all makes sense.

Thanks

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Re: Forgiveness issues

Post by Dove-Solutions on Fri May 20, 2011 6:14 am

~BelovedoftheLord,

Forgiveness does not mean that we forget. Ask the Lord to help heal your wounds. Cast your cares on Jesus because he cares for you. Lay it down at the feet of Jesus. Give it to him and ask him to heal the pain and the anger and the frustration. Forgiveness is a decision not a feeling. The feelings are there and that is what we also give to the Lord. The Lord will heal our hurts and our pain....we just need to ask. When I lay down at night after someone has hurt me, I ask for the hurt to be taken from me so that resentment and other things don't set in....the Lord always helps me overcome the hurt. I pray this has been a blessing.

Love in Jesus,

Connie
huggins


~Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Himand He will direct your path.~ Proverbs 3:5-6

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Re: Forgiveness issues

Post by Cholette on Fri May 20, 2011 4:17 pm

I agree with Connie!!!

Just this past Sunday, my Pastor taught a message about "HONOR". He talked about how his father has NEVER been there for him in his child years. IT wasn't until he began to walk in his ministry that the Lord told him to honor his father despite the things he did and his not being there for him as a child. He then began to call his father and spoke what the Bible said about him. He said now his father is serving God and is now a tremendous worshiper. We are talking about a man who was a full blown alcoholic and a self rightous person.

His point is, honoring is what we give to others because of who we are...even when they are NOT honorable. Honoring those who don't deserve it not only takes us to a new place in our heart, but it takes them to a place.

I need lots of help in this area and I've been making a GOD CONSCIOUS effort to honor those who I've stayed away from because of how they are. I'm finding words from the Word of God to say to them and I feel in my heart you should do the same with your husband. The two of you are ONE and you not talking to him or giving him the cold shoulder is only dishonoring YOU and hurting YOU. When you make him feel important dispite his error not only will he feel better, but you will too because the two of you are ONE entity. If you are feeling the way you feel, so is he...he just may not appear to be affected (if that's the case).

It's worth it for you to push past the flesh and love on your man my friend. He's human FIRST and if God pushed us away for the millions of HUMAN things we have done, we would ALL be in trouble. Love him and treat him the way you would want him to love and treat you if you were the one that hurt his feelings. Let's face it...he may need to learn a few things from you on how to treat his spouse. Give him something to follow.

Blessings to you my friend!


Do not fight FOR victory, but fight FROM THE PLACE of victory. Jesus has ALREADY won the battle!

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Re: Forgiveness issues

Post by BelovedoftheLord on Sun May 22, 2011 7:11 am

THank you so much ladies for taking your time to reply. God really bless you. It is hard though, giving honour and all coz you feel like you are encouraging the wrong behaviour! Then there is pride to deal with...You know this issue has brought a lot of ugliness that is in my own heart to the surface and its not a pretty sight i ll tell you that. Nevertheless, His grace abounds...thanks again.

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Re: Forgiveness issues

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