What should I do about this?

View previous topic View next topic Go down

What should I do about this?

Post by GoldenEagle on Sun Feb 20, 2011 6:55 am

A few years ago I went out one evening with my cousin. At the time he was living with a woman but they were not married. He told me that this woman made him list all the people he spoke to during the day, and that if she met anyone, even an old man, who mentioned they had been speaking to him and she didn't know about it she flew into terrible rages and threw things. In the end he did have an affair because of her behaviour. That night he showed me bruises from where his partner had hit him and said they were poison to eachother; he said the basic problem was he didn't love her. He then told me he'd been offered a job in another country, a remote part of the world, and he was moving there to start a new life.

Well, he did move and within 3 months this woman moved out to live with him again. A few years later she got pregnant; he still didn't propose marriage. He was shocked by the pregnancy. It seemed she was still throwing jealous rages etc. Sadly the baby died at the end of her pregnancy and was delivered dead. A few weeks ago they had a second baby.

My aunt is puttting incredible pressure on my cousin to marry this woman. She is abusive and unstable but she comes across as very charming and most of my family are taken in by her.

The question is: should I betray my cousin's trust and tell ym aunt what is really going on? My cousin is frightened of this woman - she crushes his soul, makes him believe evrything is his own fault, reads his emails, throws screaming fits and has silent days... it's awful. But now there is a baby the relationship can never end.

I know I should mind my own business, I suppose, but if in one of her jealous rages she one day really harms my cousin it will be on my conscience for the rest of my life.

GoldenEagle
Junior Member
Junior Member

Posts : 184
Points : 263
Join date : 2009-06-02

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: What should I do about this?

Post by Cholette on Sun Feb 20, 2011 7:21 am

Sadly GoldenEagle, your cousin knows he's in a bad place with this relationship and still chooses not to do something about it. I mean, he did in the begining because he moved, but then he ALLOWED her to come and stay with him again.

You have already told him what he should be doing, but he's not listening and I don't think it will matter if his mom...or your aunt, knew about it. He's still making the decision. You can't and shouldn't wear this burden on you. Sadly, your cousin is going through what thousands of other men are going through...they are being abused by women and this is something that is shameful for them.

I am ministering to a young lady in South Africa who has FIVE children and her husband beats her. I can only say so much. Where I do my job is in prayer. I am in extreme warfare regarding this because she feels like her husband his stronger than her and she can't leave because she's weak. She believes that because he has filled her mind with that crazy stuff. So I go into prayer and break those words off of her. A few days later, I got word that she had enough guts to tell him that she hated him and she wanted a divorce because she was tired of being abused. To her suprise, he buckled like a little boy. He stood there without make a sound or reacting. At that moment she saw just how weak he really was. I believe it was God that stepped in to show her that. All in all, she is now empowered to make the moves out of the house and out of the marriage because GOD opened up her eyes to see what was really going on.

What I'm saying is, handle this in prayer because if you go and betray your cousin's trust by telling your aunt, it will make things worse between you and your cousin. He won't see it as you helping him...he will see it as you betraying him. You DEFINATELY don't want that because you seem to be all that he has right now.

I will be praying about this situation with you, that God will step in just like he did with my friend.


Do not fight FOR victory, but fight FROM THE PLACE of victory. Jesus has ALREADY won the battle!

Cholette
Moderator
Moderator

Posts : 3879
Points : 4070
Join date : 2008-08-04
Age : 49

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: What should I do about this?

Post by Dove-Solutions on Sun Feb 20, 2011 7:45 am

o]]`Goldeneagle,

These are just my thoughts so please understand that I say this in love. Now the Lord is the Spirit and where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom. He needs to tell her the truth. I feel that your cousin needs to tell this woman he does not love her and he wants her to go. I also understand that now he has a child with her. That can certainly complicate things but like Cholette said he allowed this thing into his life. I will lift him in prayer today for his situation. On the mind you own business thing, this world does to much of that in my own opinion. Family means caring for one another through the good and the bad. We look out for each other and sometimes we have to get involved. My concern would be what would happen if I did not get involved. Would Jesus get involved? You bet! He would rebuke the demon and heal the wounds of those needing to be healed. I would be praying for them. The Lord will touch her heart and convict her of her wrong doings. Pray for your cousin as well and for the baby. I would also pray that your Aunt has conviction in her spirit about pressuring him into marriage. That is a sacred vow with God and to go into it knowing that you don't love the person or knowing that you may break the vow is well shall we say not going to help his situation. I would pray the Lord reveal the truth to your Aunt.

Love in Jesus,

Connie [/i]


~Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Himand He will direct your path.~ Proverbs 3:5-6

Dove-Solutions
Moderator
Moderator

Posts : 5092
Points : 4092
Join date : 2008-07-29
Age : 59
Location : Oklahoma

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: What should I do about this?

Post by GoldenEagle on Sun Feb 20, 2011 8:26 am

Thankyou both for your wisdom. I can do nothing about the situation but God can.

GoldenEagle
Junior Member
Junior Member

Posts : 184
Points : 263
Join date : 2009-06-02

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: What should I do about this?

Post by Sponsored content Today at 8:12 pm


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

View previous topic View next topic Back to top


 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum