Seeing my ex and being scared! (Long...Plz read!)

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Seeing my ex and being scared! (Long...Plz read!)

Post by Desiree (Starpop) on Thu Oct 30, 2008 10:46 am

I was in an apartment building with my dad, a few siblings, and my mother. My sibling (who is in the army overseas) was trying to find a job at this apartment building. I remember I had on a mini skirt (which I don't wear in real life) and my hair was in a side pony tail (I was looking like a little girl--as I've been told lol! ) On this wall (between two doors which were entrances to rooms) I see a large dry-erase board with black cursive writing on it in columns. (I guess it was possible "room assignments/to-do lists?) This was my ex's apartment and on in the left door, I remember seeing my pastor's daughter talking (her back was facing me, and I assumed that she was inside talking with my ex or his wife; I remember she had on white. IRL, my ex still keeps in touch with our "first lady".) I stood at the corner of the door and yelled playfully, "Hey big head", knowing that she would stop to see who spoke to her. Moments later I heard a male voice from the room say, "PARK IT". I knew it was my ex's voice. I thought, "Now he's trying to be nice after all this time of not speaking to me? Before he ignored me." I figured he would try to come out and talk to me (I was afraid to come into the room because I didn't know what to expect as I entered, and I didn't know how his wife would feel if she happened to be in there. I felt uninvited so to speak so I just stayed outside).

Instantly I became nervous and afraid and I didn't want to see my ex. I began to run off so he wouldn't spot me. Too late...He stopped in the doorway of the second door (the right side). He caught me before I left--DARN IT!! :uhoh: He had on a grayish/blue overall suit with a white name tag outlined in red (sort of like what Mechanics/factory workers would wear). We looked at eachother for a moment and I just stood there in shock. We didn't say anything to eachother, I looked at his face and noticed his glasses and his height but I couldn't make out his face clearly (it looked sort of dark). He looked expressionless but I still recognized him. I just didn't feel at peace (it reminded me of a scary/horror movie when the killer is trying to have the victim trapped and they don't know where to run). I walked briskly (almost running) outside as I tried to hide from him. Outside in the parking lot I saw my mom's SUV and I sat on the ground near the driver's door. I put my head on my knees and covered my head (kind of like during a tornado drill/warning as precautionary measures) It was out in the open and night time (bad move?) My ex pulled up in his truck (dark) right in front of my mom's truck. He turned off the car as if he was going to get out.

Back inside building, I began walking behind my pastor's daughter (the same one who was talking to my ex in the room earlier). She had suddenly shrunk in size (height and weight) and looked REALLY small (unhealthy) (in real life she is obese and tall). I said, "you lost too much weight too fast A". She kept looking back at me smiling and confidently talking about how she was excited about her job and going back to school? Suddently she became tired/sick, so I picked her up in my arms and carried her (at this point she resembled a little girl) to a place to rest. I walked into a lobby/waiting area (like in a doctor's office/church where there's bulletin boards/fliers posted), and I see lots of rows of white/gray chairs. I see a woman with long, black curly hair and a white t-shirt sitting in front. I immediately recognized this woman as my ex's wife. Why was she the only one sitting in this room? I walked in front of her and passed her (she was looking downward and picking her fingernails as if she was waiting on something or someone--maybe her husband?) Anyway, she looks at me and says "hello" with a slight smile (I guess just generally speaking because someone had walked in the room). I confidantly say "hello" and after I said that, she observes me for a moment and realizes who I am (IRL I've never spoken to her). I do notice her glasses and look into her face realizing once and for all this was his wife. Her face was covered with many reddish pimples and previous scarring from older ones--they were noticable. I thought she must be stressed out with her husband like I once was when we dated.

I walk into another oom and its filled with many people waiting around. A photographer wants to take my picture (the pastor's daughter is still in my arms). I sit on a coffee table filled with magazines, as he motions for me to prepare for some headshots. I lay back on it and the man takes SEVERAL photos. I think he's overdoing it. He has a partner beside him that lets him knoww hat he likes best and what he should keep. He says he like my "cheekbones" and he touches them as he says he "likes my eyes" too. At first my eyes look seductive and then they change to looking upward---I look refreshed and content. I'm happy with this magazine shot and decide to keep it. There were a few shots that seemed awkward--I was still overwhelmed at all the attention, and the constant bulb flashes (everyone was watching.) bouncing

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Re: Seeing my ex and being scared! (Long...Plz read!)

Post by dreamster on Thu Oct 30, 2008 2:53 pm

does the thought of being traped by ex overwhelm u?,hav you counted how many ex dreams youve had?there seems to be a reacuring theme emerging,can you see the patterns,if its not literal,could the whole thing represent something else in your life,i hav repeats too, im thinkin im not getting 'this',im concerned about the pastors daughters rapid wieght loss,somefin 2 pray about bandaid cold flower D


a merry heart, does good likea medicene, [ new international dee version,NIDV]

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Re: Seeing my ex and being scared! (Long...Plz read!)

Post by Desiree (Starpop) on Sun Nov 02, 2008 5:13 pm

I do think that something is going on with the pastor's daughter. I don't why I'm having the excessive ex dreams but maybe I'm fearful of seeing him?! I will just have to pray...thanks

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Re: Seeing my ex and being scared! (Long...Plz read!)

Post by unaday* on Mon Nov 03, 2008 6:42 pm

In regards to your pastor's daughter i believe that there is something spiritually going on with her. It is possible that she is at the moment 'spiritually anorexic' and thinks that she can go on like this and still do what she needs to do...but the fact that you had to carry her tells me that you are called at this time to hold her up in prayer. Intercede for her whatever it may be.
As for your ex...i am not really sure but has the thought ever crossed your mind that you are afraid of meeting up with him because you are afraid of how he might have changed and wouldn't know how to relate to him?

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Re: Seeing my ex and being scared! (Long...Plz read!)

Post by RnestseekR on Mon Nov 03, 2008 8:08 pm

The part where you say that your ex's wife has pimples and that they might be b/c of stress - is that what you knew in the dream, or is that what you are thinking now? I ask because what if te pimples actually represent adolescents? Compared to your youthful "girlhood", do you ever wonder if your ex has grown up while at the same time not feel that you yourself have grown up? Don't really know on that one, just a theory to try on. Do you have some concerns or needless wondering that maybe your ex has found "the one" while you are still single? Perhaps God is trying to show you that even though you may not have found "the one" yet, He is showering attention upon you or is fulfilling you in other ways (the attention to the details of your photos, etc.). Not an interpretation, just something to jog the brain. Enjoy the exercise!

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Re: Seeing my ex and being scared! (Long...Plz read!)

Post by Desiree (Starpop) on Tue Nov 04, 2008 8:23 am

As for your ex...i am not really sure but has the thought ever crossed your mind that you are afraid of meeting up with him because you are afraid of how he might have changed and wouldn't know how to relate to him?

That's an interesting thought Una...I have thought about the fact of him having 'changed' so to speak. I haven't seen him in years and if I saw him now I doubt if I would really know what to say to him. Its funny but since I've been "redeemed" it seems as though I haven't even been in a relationship with my ex (like it didn't happen) even though the evidence is there. When I see his family members (those I used to speak to often and mingle with) it seems weird--I look at them differently. It sort of reminds me of the story of Joseph, when after years of not seeing his brothers and when he finally did see them they didn't recognize him (he looked/carried himself differently...but he recognized them). I guess that is how I feel--like I won't recognize my ex as the person I once knew when I was in my teens (RNESTSEEKR, funny you said pimples as 'youthful' because I started dating my ex when I was a teenager). As for the pastor's daughter, currently she is going through some things right now and we often talk. She has received a 'scare' from her doctor and I am praying for her to recommit her life to Christ.

RnestseekR
On the contrary, I believe that I have grown tremendously in these past years since breaking up with my ex. I do wonder if he is still the same (you know how time changes and people haven't changed?) I wonder if he is still childish and the "player type" and treats his wife like he did me, or has he really grown up in Christ in every area of his life? I guess only time will tell. I just feel like God has elevated me so much through visions, dreams, and words of admonishment that I can't relate to the same people like I used to (including my ex); therefore maybe that's why he can't relate to me? My ex has mentioned to a family member of mine that he misses my family and God has revealed some things about his motives (I still pray for his current situation with his wife and hope for their unity and his salvation--I've even told him that) God has been showering me with much attention. As McDonald's slogan says, "I AM LOVIN IT!!! I do often wonder, "GOD WHEN IS THE ONE COMING?" until then I will remain content. You've brought up some interesting points to ponder on as well.
thanks for your responses everyone
desiree

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Re: Seeing my ex and being scared! (Long...Plz read!)

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