Emotionally abusive husband

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Emotionally abusive husband

Post by Sirianta on Wed Nov 03, 2010 12:07 am

Hey guys, it's been a long time since i've posted anything on this website. I used to post a dream nearly every day. I used to be so close to God, but I dont' know how I got so distant from Him nowadays. I guess it's my own fault, 'cause God will never leave my side, that I know. I'm trying my best and working on it and I need God now more that ever in my life.

The issue I'm having is my husband. I don't even know where to begin and I don't want this post to be toooo long. I'm in an emotional abusive marriage and I can not tell you guys in words how this is affecting me. I feel depressed most of the time, I just can't handle feeling like this anymore. I'm so scared to say the wrong things at home or do anything wrong, because of his outbursts!! And most of the time it is small little stuff that will make him explode, like for instance if a medicine bottle leaked in the cupboard or something like that. And it is always me and the childrens fault. He can't do anything wrong. I on the other hand am very soft emotionally and am really struggling under his abusive ways. If he did something wrong I would just leave it. Even when he comes home at 2 in the morning after drinking with his friends I don't even go at him. I just keep quiet, because I hate conflict. Maybe that is wrong of me, I don't know.

He uses the ugliest swear words you can immagine, even uses the Lord's name in vain and what is most bothersome about this is that he uses them in front of our two beautifull children (Megan 3 years and Craigen nearly 5). As I'm writing this I just want to burst out crying, 'cause I can not stand the fact that my children should go through this. He constantly screams at me and them, and talk to us as if we're beneath him. He drinks a lot with his friends, so most of the time I'm at home alone with the kids. Why should my kids go through this? They don't deserve this at all.

I've been praying for him for over 7 years and it just keeps getting worse. I really hoped that God would answer my prayers and get him on the right path before this would start affecting the children, but I can already see that it is affecting them. It's not fair that the children will be affected by this for the rest of their lifes. He is suppose to set an example. Im so scared that my little boy is going to turn out just like him. He is already yelling at me just like his dad.

He also won't let me go to my choice of church. He is brought up in a very traditional church that does't believe in the gifts of the Holy Spirit and doesn't practice the gifts. I was also brought up in such a church but a few years ago I went on a church camp and learned about the other side which I never knew. There I really met Jesus and came to love Him dearly. He once said that if I go to that church again he would leave me. He will not let me bring up our kids in such a church. This makes me so sad, because now I don't go to church anymore for a few years now AND I REALLY MISS THE FELLOWSHIP crying . I am so lonely!

Sometimes it feels like the only time he is nice to me is when he wants to sleep with me. I hate it!! I nearly don't have any respect for him anymore. I can not help it.

I know he loves the kids very much, sometimes I'm not sure if he really loves me or care for me anymore. I'm very confused. He is not always bad, he has a good side to him as well, but most of the time he is really very emotionally abusive. I do love him, but sometimes I wonder if it wouldn't be better for the kids and myself to be removed from this situation. Because I'm so depressed I sometimes go off on the kids as well, which isn't necessary. This thought just brings tears to my eyes.

Please help, even if you can just pray for me. I know I shouldn't loose hope in God, but it isn't easy when you've prayed for soooooooooo many years and it just gets worse.

Thank you

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Re: Emotionally abusive husband

Post by Cholette on Wed Nov 03, 2010 6:36 am

So sorry Siranta of what you are going through...

Why are you still there?


Do not fight FOR victory, but fight FROM THE PLACE of victory. Jesus has ALREADY won the battle!

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Re: Emotionally abusive husband

Post by Sirianta on Wed Nov 03, 2010 11:02 am

Hey Cholette, I'm still here because I know God doesn't approve of divorce. I'm also holding on because I don't know how the children would cope without a dad. I guess I'm still hoping that God will answer my prayers and safe my husband and I still love him. I really don't know what to do. I just want to please God and don't want to make the wrong decission.

Thanks Cholette

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Re: Emotionally abusive husband

Post by Cholette on Wed Nov 03, 2010 2:04 pm

Let me say this to you Sirianta. God doesn't like divorce, but even MORE than that, He doesn't like abuse. I think the teaching on divorce has been out of context. Do you think the God of ALL LOVE would want you and your children to remain in a situation all because he doesn't want you to "divorce"? We are talking about the AGAPE love of God...which means it's unconditional...which means he will love you no matter what.

I have news for you...God is already pleased with you. It's not about what you "DO"...it's about who you "ARE". He designed you for HIS liking and frowns upon those who mis-handle his precious one. You don't have to be in the house with an abusive man for God to hear your prayers. As we all know, there is no distance in prayer.

I'm not here to tell you to leave your husband because I can't do that nor do I have that right...but what I can do is tell you who you are and how much God loves you and your little ones. God IS NOT pleased with how you three are being treated. God isn't mad at you because you are still there, just like he won't be mad at you if you leave. His love is UNCONDITIONAL...it can't be earned and there is NOTHING you can do to stop it.

My prayers are for you today because this breaks my heart. My prayers are for your children because NO CHILD deserves to be subjected to such violence. This is no longer about you or your husband, it's about the children. Protect their hearts.

Do you have a Pastor or minister you can speak to?




Do not fight FOR victory, but fight FROM THE PLACE of victory. Jesus has ALREADY won the battle!

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Re: Emotionally abusive husband

Post by Virtuous on Wed Nov 03, 2010 2:40 pm

Sirianta wrote:Hey Cholette, I'm still here because I know God doesn't approve of divorce. I'm also holding on because I don't know how the children would cope without a dad. I guess I'm still hoping that God will answer my prayers and safe my husband and I still love him. I really don't know what to do. I just want to please God and don't want to make the wrong decission.

Thanks Cholette
My mom felt the same way as you but she FINALLY divorced my dad the year I graduated. I had two other sisters right behind me and my little sister had just been born. Over 20+ years my mom prayed and believed God to save my dad. He didn't get saved until a year after they divorced.
You don't have to be in the house with an abusive man for God to hear your prayers.
Being raised in a home just as you described and probably worse, I can tell you first hand itís not good for your children. I resented my mom for a long time for not leaving my dad more than I resented him for acting a fool. I felt like she shouldíve gotten us out of there.

This breaks my heart. crying crying Your kids donít deserve this and neither do. you.

I wouldn't dare tell you to divorce your husband but I will boldly tell you to really consider getting your children out of there...


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Re: Emotionally abusive husband

Post by lola21st on Wed Nov 03, 2010 6:38 pm

Hi Siranta, beautiful daughter of the Most High God! huggins

As I was reading your post, I thought it was a passage out of my life diary because I was once where you are now. And I'm here to tell you that it doesn't have to be this way, this is not what God had in mind when He designed the marriage covenant.

Like you, I don't have time to go into the real details right now but can I make some suggestions? These helped me in my situation and I pray they bless you as you move through yours.

- The first thing I needed to do was to be reminded of who I am in Christ and Whose I am so I began to read the Bible. (While he didn't prevent me from going to church, he ridiculed me for going.) This provided me with healing from the hurt that was being inflicted on me by my then husband. Over time his abuse had no impact on me because I came to realize that these words were more a reflection of him than they were a reflection of me - I simply stopped receiving his words and recognized them for what they were. And over time, I was built up and strengthened enough to realize that I had more value than I was giving myself credit for and was worthy of better treatment than what my husband was offering me. Meaning that I could now stand up for myself and let him know that his behavior had become unacceptable and would have to change and mean it when I say it.

Encouraging Scriptures - Psalm 139, Isaiah 40:31-33, Isaiah 54 - 55, Isaiah 58:11, Isaiah 61, Luke 12:6-7, and there are moreÖIím also including a website that I love and go back to when I need a refresh, here it is - http://www.father.weebly.com/

- While you canít go to church, you can bring church to you. You may already be aware of this but many ministries provide free live streams or recordings of their services from their websites so that people can listen to them online. One website that Iím aware of that houses recordings of several ministries is www.oneplace.com, Iím sure there are others. Again, while you canít get to church, you can still connect with God and fellowship with Him and grow in Him.

- Pray, pray, pray. Iím sure youíre doing this alreadyÖ.donít stop. Pray for yourself, pray for your husband, pray for your marriage.

- Now is the tough oneÖyour husband will not change until he realizes that there will be consequences to his behavior. It is not for me to tell you what to do regarding your marriage but what I can tell you is that as has been stated before, this is not what God intended for marriage and youíre right, your kids deserve so much better Ė for me, itís this issue that finally drove me into action, I couldnít bear the thought of my son having to experience and witness what I was experiencing. I was intent on preventing this dysfunction from passing onto another generation.
From what Iíve seen in these cases (and it was the case for me as well), you may need to live separately from him while these issues are dealt with. In some cases, it was a much needed wake up call for the husband and the marriage survived and transformed, in other cases (like mine), the appropriate choice under the circumstances was divorce. You are the one who must decide but I would strongly urge you to seek Christian counseling - if heís willing to join you that would be ideal but please go on your own even if heís unwilling. Not sure how these services work from an insurance standpoint or whether youíd have to pay out of pocket expenses for these services. If there are any local social services that deal with domestic abuse, you may want to seek them out. There is a Christian counseling ministry website called www.newlife.com which I would advise you to check out. They have a counseling referral service (not sure itís global) on the site as well as archives of past radio shows which cover a plethora of topics Ė the show is a call in show where people call in with questions regarding issues in their lives and Steve Arterburn as well as other Christian therapists provide answers, suggestions, and prayer. Look through and listen to the archives, you may see questions that are similar to things you would love to ask and receive indirect advice.

My prayer is that you are healed and equipped to receive Godís wisdom and that He opens doors that allow you to connect with others locally who can help you both spiritually and in the physical in Jesusí name. Please feel free to PM me at any time, ok? flower

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Re: Emotionally abusive husband

Post by Dove-Solutions on Wed Nov 03, 2010 6:42 pm

i so agee with both comments


~Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Himand He will direct your path.~ Proverbs 3:5-6

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Re: Emotionally abusive husband

Post by Sirianta on Wed Nov 03, 2010 10:18 pm

Hey guys, thank you sooooooooooooo much for all of your advise and help. I can not tell you how much this means to me. I thank God for a website like this for someone like me who don't have much christian support where I live, because of my circumstances.

Thank you Jesus for all of the replies!! It really gave me more strenghth and answered a lot of my questions.

I wish there was a way I could show you how much I appreciate your replies.

(((HUGS)))
Sirianta

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Re: Emotionally abusive husband

Post by Cholette on Thu Nov 04, 2010 8:17 am

Awww Siranta...

I think I can speak for all of us...keep you and the children safe...that's how you can thank us!



Do not fight FOR victory, but fight FROM THE PLACE of victory. Jesus has ALREADY won the battle!

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Re: Emotionally abusive husband

Post by lola21st on Thu Nov 04, 2010 8:20 am

Amen Amen Amen

Yes, please do what you must do to keep you and especially the children safe! huggins

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Re: Emotionally abusive husband

Post by Virtuous on Thu Nov 04, 2010 1:20 pm

Bless You

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Re: Emotionally abusive husband

Post by Dove-Solutions on Thu Nov 04, 2010 10:06 pm

I am praying praying and praying. Thanking my Lord and Savior for all things going well and that the blood of Jesus is covering all of you right now.

I wanted to respond yesterday but was at work and could only take a brief moment to respond. I have so been where you are and for that I can only say that but by the grace of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ I am here to tell the story.

My whole life is a seriers of stories. It started at age 5 for me and did not end until the age of 38. Beaten and abused and raped by just about every man I ever knew. I wanted to give up so much and God would just keep me hanging on. You see I was fortunate in this. I knew I needed Jesus when I was 9. I knew there was no way to make it without Him. I have been looking up since then. Although I know it is difficult to hear at the moment; Jesus will never give us more than we can handle. I was amazed myself at what I could handle at such a young age and well into my adulthood. The Lord blessed me with the ability to love people even when there were mean and ugly toward me. He showed me that love conquers every fear, worry, beating, abuse, rape, lack of self confidence to mention a few and would take me and mold me and shape me to a new creature in Him.

So my dear I am praying for your stength and courage. I am praying for your well being and for your faith in Jesus. I am praying that the Lord bring His peace on you and help you through this time in your life. You are so loved by Him....He cares for you so much. If you can hold on to the fact that he will never leave you or forsake you, you will be fine. Trust in Him to help you with your decission and it will all happen exactly as it is suppose to.



Much love and support,

Connie :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:


~Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Himand He will direct your path.~ Proverbs 3:5-6

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Re: Emotionally abusive husband

Post by Cholette on Thu Nov 04, 2010 11:05 pm

WOW Connie!! Praise God for His faithfulness!!



Do not fight FOR victory, but fight FROM THE PLACE of victory. Jesus has ALREADY won the battle!

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Re: Emotionally abusive husband

Post by Sirianta on Thu Nov 04, 2010 11:33 pm

Connie, that so much sounds like me as well. I was molested by a number of people since I was 5 years old. My mom and dad got divorced when I was 9 years old. Never really had a relationship with my dad. This is my second marriage, was married before. Luckily I had no children with my previous husband and I had the same issues in my previous marriage like I'm having now. My first pregnancy with my current husband ended in a miscarriage, which devastated me. And about two years back my dad commited suicide.

I know that I went through a lot, but God will use me one day to help other woman who went through the same I went through.

Thanks for all your support and prayers guys. Love you dearly!

xxx
S

I once got prophetic Word


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Re: Emotionally abusive husband

Post by Deborah on Fri Nov 05, 2010 12:05 am

Sirianta,
I had two very talented, smart, beautiful sisters who were in abusive marriages. I say "had" because their husbands killed them. Abusive people are bullies. They don't understand anything but power and won't respect you if you cower. I pray for you right now that you'll have the wisdom to do what you need to do in this marriage. Please don't wait like my sisters did. You are a child of the MOST HIGH GOD!!!This abuse is NOT your fault, you do not deserve it. --Deborah

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Re: Emotionally abusive husband

Post by Sirianta on Fri Nov 05, 2010 2:15 am

Thank you Deborah, I really appreciate your feedback and I'm amazed at how many woman went through or are going through the same as me. It really helps talking to you guys and all the advise.

XXX
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Re: Emotionally abusive husband

Post by Dove-Solutions on Fri Nov 05, 2010 8:10 am

Sirianta wrote:Connie, that so much sounds like me as well. I was molested by a number of people since I was 5 years old. My mom and dad got divorced when I was 9 years old. Never really had a relationship with my dad. This is my second marriage, was married before. Luckily I had no children with my previous husband and I had the same issues in my previous marriage like I'm having now. My first pregnancy with my current husband ended in a miscarriage, which devastated me. And about two years back my dad commited suicide.

I know that I went through a lot, but God will use me one day to help other woman who went through the same I went through.

Thanks for all your support and prayers guys. Love you dearly!

xxx
S

I once got prophetic Word



I wish I had a dime for everytime I hear woman tell me this story. Sadly it is all to common. Many times I weap inside for them. This is the calling God has given me. To tell woman they are not alone. That the act of the other person toward them is the ultimate act of disobedients toward God because of their disrespect for his creation is implorable. It is abhored by the Father. He is our husband. He gave me this verse a few years ago to hang on to when I could bear no more......I am a work in progress.....still overcoming in the name of Jesus......Go to Isaiah54:4-17. (you know it is funny because my Bible just opens there LOL)

4) Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.
5) For your Maker is your husband the Lord Almighty is his name, the Holy One of Israel is your Redemer; He is called the God of all the earth.
6) The Lord will call you back as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit a wife who married young, only to be rejected, "says your God."
7) For a brief moment I abandoned you, but with deep compasion I will bring you back.
8) " In a surge of anger, I hid my face from you for a moment, but with everlasting kindness I will have compassion on you", says the Lord your Redeemer.
9) "To me this is like the days of Noah, when I swore that the waters of Noah would never again cover the earth. So now I have sworn not to be angry with you, never to rebuke you again.
10) Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed, " says the Lord, who has compassion on you.
11) O afflicted city, lashed by storms and not comforted, I will build you with stones of turquoise, your foundations with sapphires.
12) I will make your battlements of rubies, your gates of sparkling jewels, and all your walls of precious stones.
13) All your sons will be taught by the Lord, and great will be your children's peace.
14) In righteousness you will be established: Tyranny will be far from you; you will have nothing to fear. Terror will be far removed; it will not come near you.
15) If anyone does attack you, it will not be my doing; whoever attacks you will surrender to you.
16) See, it is I who created the blacksmith who fans the coals into flame and forges a weapon fit for its work and it is I who have created the destroyer to work havoc;
17) No weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and this is their vindication from me, declares the Lord.


This is the most precious scripture to me. It is His promise to me. Many times I read it over and over just to remind me of his compassion and love for me. I thought it may help you when you feel burdened. I pray it does. May his Love and Peace be poured over you.

Love in Jesus,

Connie :hearts:


~Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Himand He will direct your path.~ Proverbs 3:5-6

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Re: Emotionally abusive husband

Post by Sirianta on Fri Nov 05, 2010 11:36 am

Connie this is the most beautiful scripture I've ever read!! Thank you so much! I'm gonna hold on to this forever. This meant so much to me and once again I realise just how much God loves me. It amazes me how much you guys really care for people and how much time you put in to help people who have issues in their lives. May God bless all of you for helping and caring.

Love you guys!!

Sirianta

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Re: Emotionally abusive husband

Post by Deborah on Fri Nov 05, 2010 12:17 pm

Here's more scripture: Hosea 2:16 and 19-20
And it shall be in that day, says the Lord, that you will call Me 'My Husband' and no longer call me 'My Master'

I will betroth you to Me forever
Yes, I will betroth you to Me
In righteousness and justice,
In lovingkindness and mercy;
I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness
and you shall know the Lord.


These are wedding vows used in Jewish weddings. God as Husband will take you as His bride forever in righteousness (he'll treat you right) and mercy (that's His steadfast covenant love) and best of all, He'll be so close to you that you will know Him. Blessings, my dear. Hope this helps.--Deborah

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Re: Emotionally abusive husband

Post by Sirianta on Fri Nov 05, 2010 12:25 pm

Again Deborah, thank you so much!! I am so blessed with all of your advise and scriptures. I thank God for you girls!!

Be blessed, love ya xxx

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Re: Emotionally abusive husband

Post by lola21st on Fri Nov 05, 2010 12:28 pm

Amen, Connie - that's the same scripture I stood on during my passage out of my situation!

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Re: Emotionally abusive husband

Post by Dove-Solutions on Fri Nov 05, 2010 3:06 pm

lola21st wrote:Amen, Connie - that's the same scripture I stood on during my passage out of my situation!
. Yep that is so powerful to me as well.


~Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Himand He will direct your path.~ Proverbs 3:5-6

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Re: Emotionally abusive husband

Post by Dove-Solutions on Fri Nov 05, 2010 3:07 pm

Siriata,

I love when He confirms through his word. God bless you and keep you.

Love in Jesus,

Connie


~Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Himand He will direct your path.~ Proverbs 3:5-6

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Re: Emotionally abusive husband

Post by Delightful soul on Sat Nov 06, 2010 4:45 am

I just wanted to add something here.........

For offenders;

Physical abuse = jail sentence

Sexual abuse= jail sentence (increasingly)

Mental/emotional abuse=????????????

Pretty simple equations here and yet such a complex non-answer for the last type of abuse........

One day society will get it right........

WE are more than physical beings but rather are triune spirit, soul and body....how come some people treat emotional abuse so candidly?

It's really hard to define- this is why.......

Put it this way........replace the word emotional with sexual or physical and what would your post read and how would society react???More importantly, how would YOU react??? This is important cause unfortunatley you in this situation...are the only authority that can actively protect your children from such pain caused, so I feel you need to look at your situation with wisdom and resonsibility for it is not just you being abused here.


Blessings sister.........

huggins

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Re: Emotionally abusive husband

Post by Hiskid on Sat Nov 06, 2010 11:35 pm

Praying for you and your kids.
You dont deserve this.
God has a way out!

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Re: Emotionally abusive husband

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