Lust Problems (Adult Topic)

Hey, I appreciate your point of view. I'm not offended at all. I've done that sometimes when I don't read through something posted and give my opinion on the first few. *LOL*

I know it has to do with my desire for intimacy, but the roadblock I've had was that A) I want everyone else to be happy and leave no room for myself and B) I really don't know how to throw it all into the arms of someone else. I'm an insanely independant person and don't like people taking care of me. It's just a defense mechanism that I've built over the years.

Ironicly, when I do go that route, it's always to please my husband. I want him to have the time of his life whether he's going through hard times, or just wants to play around. My pleasure isn't so much derived from the touch, but imagining him happy. I'm like that with guys. Some of my guyfriends are really physically attractive, but their personality isn't sexy to me. On the other end, I have guyfriends with a beautiful soul that I have to guard my mind against.

I guess the reason I can be so open to you people is because you all don't really know me outside the forums... I know you can't use this against me at the church I go to. Sad to think that way, but hey.

that is totally understandable. I hope and pray that you find peace with this issue.

If you are imagining your future husband and thinking of men and placing them in your mind, then maybe you need to give this up to the Lord. Casting down imaginations and every high thing that exalts itself above the Lord and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. I need to do this too.

WE can win this fight and get victory in His name.

This forum is good for anonymity.


But sometimes it pays to confess your thoughts to someone in leadership in the physical too..........


Bless you,


Claire

I've confessed it to some people already... I think I'm finally getting through this because it's like... I really don't care anymore. It's a good thing, but I'm just finding sleep for a change.

you've mentioned some good points clarie! I think that it IS absolutely necessary to talk to a pastor or leader you can trust with sensitive issues as this!

Hello! I haven't read all of the comments here so if I repeat anything that others have said I aplogize ahead of time.

I'm going to say something here that others may not agree with, but I have known other people who have dealt with the same issues that you're talking about and this is what has worked for them. First of all I want to say that there is absolutely no scripture in the bible that directly references masturbation and names it as a sin. HOWEVER, we all have to honor our consciences. If you go against your conscience then your faith is just not going to work. What I am trying to say here is that I don't think that, in and of itself, masturbation is the problem. Although scripture does address "lust" directly, I don't even think that is directly your problem, although you do need to replace those thoughts with "God thoughts." I think the problem is very simple. We are not to be "overcome" by ANYTHING. Why? Because Jesus is Lord and we are to be overcome and consumed ONLY by Him. (1 Corinthians 6:12, "All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.) When we yield ourselves and allow something besides God to overtake us then it soon becomes a stronghold, and I think that's why you are waking up in the night finding yourself doing the thing you do not want to do. After a while your flesh becomes trained. God has made our bodies so that we can "train" them and bring them under subjection to the Word of God. Furthermore, anything that we do not do "in faith" is sin. (Romans 14:23, "And he that doubteth is damned if he eat, because he eateth not of faith: for whatsoever is not of faith is sin.") So to me the problem you are dealing with is simple: you are allowing yourself to be overtaken by something other than God. That tells me you need to draw closer to Him. Now I realize that's easy for me to say. But, on that subject I do have personal experience. A few years ago, I felt the wooing of the Spirit of God to draw more intimately close to Him. He began to deal with me that He desired to be "friends" with me and that friendships had to be built and developed. It took some time and effort, but it worked and I have to tell you it was the greatest time of my life. The way that I did it was I sat down and had quality/quantity quiet time with the Lord each day. I would worship and sing and just love on the Lord. During this time I didn't come and dump all of my problems on Him, I came to talk "with" Him and to minister TO Him. I came to develop a friendship. You don't develop very good friendships if the only time you go to that friend you have a problem. It has to be give and take -- not just take. (I did pray when I had needs, but not during this time. Also as I developed my friendship with God I also found my prayers began to be answered more quickly because my faith worked the best it had ever worked. Faith works by love and as I grew in confidence that God loved me everything just seemed to begin working.) Above all I would EXPECT Him to "show up" and manifest Himself to me because His Word says "Draw near to Me and I will draw near to you." In other words, I used my faith. And faith pleases God. (James 4:8, "Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded." Hebrews 11:6, "But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.") I would even speak this scripture to the Lord and tell Him that I was drawing near to Him and I knew that He would honor His word to me, and draw near to me too. And do you know what? He did! I began experiencing the manifest presence of God every day during my quiet times. In fact, I had a set time each day, and when I would go to sit down I began to notice after a period of time that the Lord was already there waiting for me. Also, I began to recognize His presence in my life like never before. How awesome it was! It got to where, I would sit down at the time I had our "appointment" set, and immediately I would be in His presence. That's when the word of God began to open up to me like never before, and I began to develop my spiritual ears to hear the voice of the Lord. It's also when I began to overflow in dreams and visions. I'd always had dreams from time to time, but since this time of drawing near it is rare for me not to have them nightly and sometimes several in a night. I began to understand the scripture, "Be still and know that I am God." To this day I value my quiet time with the Lord. I have found that it is the place where I am filled up to be able to go through life victoriously. The Word of God says, "In God's presence is fullness of joy and at His right hand are pleasures forevermore!" I began to experience this. I found that my joy level shot through the roof and I got so much stronger. To this day if I need strength, I press into the presence of God and get my joy fill and all of a sudden I feel like a new person. God has promised in His word that if we seek Him, He will be found by us when we seek Him with our whole hearts. If you will begin to do this, you won't have to concentrate on "quitting" anything. IT will quit you! You will find that your desires change because God becomes your only desire and He will place His desires for your life in your heart and you'll begin to be on the same page with God. Then I'd be willing to bet that it won't be long before God begins to reveal to you His plan concerning your future spouse! God is so good and He wants you to experience this wonderful treasure that He has created for our enjoyment -- marriage. I have been married for 12 years and it has been the best time of my life. So, I know what I'm talking about. I fasted and prayed concerning my husband and God has been so good to me. I know that He will do the same for you too! I hope this helps. There is no condemnation. God has made a way of escape for every temptation and I believe that as you press into Him you will find your "escape hatch."

Wow, Sandra! THAT was powerful!

Thanks Sandra...you have blessed my soul!!! This is something for me to keep for reference. I LOVED the part about developing the "friendship" and setting THAT time for just enjoying Him without going to Him with all of the "junk of the day".

Your response has made me thirsty for MORE of Him.